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How do people see you?

Trisha

Do people see the real you or the 'you' that's used when you're masking?

With me, my friends at school, teachers and family see the masked Trisha. To most people I'm funny, social, love going out, a bit adventurous, love to gossip with the girls in the loo...

But behind the mask people don't see the 'real' me who's shy, prefers to stay in, hates being social, just wants her own company and to hide away from the scary big world.

It's exhausting masking this much but I do because it's the only way I can function and get through each day.

Most people don't understand but it's good people here do.

Parents

  • Most people would see the masked me. However I am glad things have changed. I became aware of my autism in recent years.

    When I was growing up in the 60s and 70s, if things were difficult my parents encouraged me to grin and bear it. I now understand the things I found difficult and made me feel awkward about myself.

    I can remember friends trying to encourage me to wear trendy clothes because it looked better. I can remember sitting in discos waiting for time to go home as I couldn't understand things people were saying to me. I can remember at college struggling when I had to share a room and being relieved when someone left and I could have a room to myself.

    I remember going to social things and longing for the time I could go home. I can remember changing classes in a busy high school and feeling like I might fall on the stairs which now I believe was the stress. I remember my parents not understanding and also not understanding my wanting to spend time alone in my room. I did like to have company sometimes and meet friends, but when I could cope with it.

    I still mask in public, but it is helpful my husband understands so I can unmask at home.  I guess others see someone who is a bit awkward and doesn't like social gatherings.

    I think for me the years of masking has taken its toll. I am fortunate at work now my immediate managers are aware and take this into consideration if I need to make adjustments or take some time out.

Reply

  • Most people would see the masked me. However I am glad things have changed. I became aware of my autism in recent years.

    When I was growing up in the 60s and 70s, if things were difficult my parents encouraged me to grin and bear it. I now understand the things I found difficult and made me feel awkward about myself.

    I can remember friends trying to encourage me to wear trendy clothes because it looked better. I can remember sitting in discos waiting for time to go home as I couldn't understand things people were saying to me. I can remember at college struggling when I had to share a room and being relieved when someone left and I could have a room to myself.

    I remember going to social things and longing for the time I could go home. I can remember changing classes in a busy high school and feeling like I might fall on the stairs which now I believe was the stress. I remember my parents not understanding and also not understanding my wanting to spend time alone in my room. I did like to have company sometimes and meet friends, but when I could cope with it.

    I still mask in public, but it is helpful my husband understands so I can unmask at home.  I guess others see someone who is a bit awkward and doesn't like social gatherings.

    I think for me the years of masking has taken its toll. I am fortunate at work now my immediate managers are aware and take this into consideration if I need to make adjustments or take some time out.

Children
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