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How do people see you?

Trisha

Do people see the real you or the 'you' that's used when you're masking?

With me, my friends at school, teachers and family see the masked Trisha. To most people I'm funny, social, love going out, a bit adventurous, love to gossip with the girls in the loo...

But behind the mask people don't see the 'real' me who's shy, prefers to stay in, hates being social, just wants her own company and to hide away from the scary big world.

It's exhausting masking this much but I do because it's the only way I can function and get through each day.

Most people don't understand but it's good people here do.

Parents

  • It really is a dual life.  I am acutely aware that no-one really knows me at all.  The performance is all anyone sees.  
    I live alone and gave up socializing irl a long time ago.  Now that i know I am autistic, I am trying to be a bit more social, but it is hard - I have no idea how to manage social relationships.

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  • It really is a dual life.  I am acutely aware that no-one really knows me at all.  The performance is all anyone sees.  
    I live alone and gave up socializing irl a long time ago.  Now that i know I am autistic, I am trying to be a bit more social, but it is hard - I have no idea how to manage social relationships.

Children
  • in reply to Touay

    I can relate to this so much- I didn’t know I was autistic until recently and I am so used to masking. At the moment there is a huge difference in how I am with people vs on my own. I very recently started a new degree/ job and am feeling overwhelmed- however when I am with people at work it’s like I make myself be a different person - chatty, enthusiastic, energised, in a good mood... when in fact I am feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, worried and sad. I’ve been working more from home recently and I have very mixed feelings when I do go into work- I just want to hide and be in my space mostly and having to put on the mask can be exhausting but in a way it also somehow makes me feel a little more normal and functional for a little while...

  • in reply to Touay

    I try to be polite, in public, while in the background mocking others.