Published on 12, July, 2020
It’s been quite some time since I’ve had the confidence to write on this forum. Hopefully you’ll have me back again.
I’m feeling the all too familiar signs of burn out once more and it’s having its impact on my speech and co-ordination again. These are the moments I really start to feel trapped inside my own head.
Today has, in fact these past few weeks have, been rough. All the simple stuff is not really happening for me at the moment. Today I was scheduled to attend a training event with my colleagues from work. 10 minute drive. We all used our sat navs. They all got there, I did not. I drove round for an hour and ended up at a farm, rather than the building I was headed for.
‘You have arrived at your destination’
No, I’ve arrived at a cattle shed.
The frustration from this for me comes from the fact that we all used the same app and typed in the same thing. I even spent the time to check with a couple of colleagues before setting off. We all got the same results. How did everyone else get there? Why did this seemingly simple task elude me? Why was it just me that had to make the embarrassing apology to my employer? Events like these really get me down.
I’m trying not to let it get on top of me, as I’ve been working really hard on my self esteem, but in moments like these I feel exhausted and utterly worthless. Can anyone relate?
Reading your post I sympathise with your technology problem. I often wish I found it easier, as others have few problems. I have spent this week trying to sort out my contribution to a colleagues birthday gift and card, then remembering when I should have been sleeping that I forgot the electronic signature, then I couldn't sign as it said full, then told to look elsewhere so in the end I had the sense to ask the organiser to do it for me.
I also agree with Shardovan about sorting things. Maybe this is why I sometimes avoid doing things as I end up feeling embarrassed at the mess I make over simple things, for example when shopping or going to a new place. Yes, a new place usually involves me embarrassingly talking out loud, for example working out how to get out of an electronic gate-even when I have done it before.
I can definitely relate to the idea of avoiding things out of concern of creating a mess. I have said no to so many things due to this. But on days like today, avoiding the situation may have been the better option!
I also think that in moments like these, it doesn’t matter how familiar with something I am, I’ll find a way to mess it up.