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School don't see my daughter's difficulties

jamaicanbluetaz

Hi there, I've just joined the community.  My 10 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers in July 2013.

She has always hated going to school and it got to the point that I changed her school to a smaller school in the hope things would change.  As it is things are the same.

Once I got the diagnosis I believed the school would be willing to help - ah yes, they say all the things I want to hear - then my daughter informs me they are not quite telling the truth.

Recently I had my third meeting with the headteacher - one of my daughter's year teachers and the SENCO.  My daughter does not have a statement.  She does not present symptoms or difficulties at school, however the stress of the whole school - information processing, social etc - builds up and then she has a huge meltdown at home over something trivial.

I put this in an e-mail - what the stressors at school were.

In the meeting I was told that children with asd cannot behave one way at school and differently at home - it was impossible for them.  If she is going to have a meltdown she would have it at school just as easily as at home!!  This is contrary to all the asperger literature I have read and discussed with others. 

Further they told me that they do not see her having any difficulties at school - she is no different to all the other children at school.  She does understand what she is doing, she needs a motivator to get her to work faster (she is slow at processing tasks etc!!) and as for difficulty in the dinner hall they will watch out for this but they cannot staff anywhere else for her to go.  As far as distractions go - she doesn't get affected by sensory distractions otherwise she would have made a fuss many times when there is painting or cooking etc happening in the school.  When I suggested ear plugs for her so she didn't find noises distracting they told me this was only used for severe autism and there was no need for my daughter to go down this route.

They are not seeing that all of this quietly builds up and up until she blows up and that to alleviate her pressure they only have to change a couple of things.

Basically there answer to all of my points was that is severe autism, not aspergers, she does not present this at school but they will watch out for it in future.

Has anybody else had problems like this - silly question I know people have had problems like this because I have heard it but now it is happening to me I don't know what to do.

I know this is a bit of a rant and may not make sense - but basically all the "typical" symptoms of Asperger Syndrome and some not so "typical" are apparent in my daughter at home and with what she says about not liking school and other social occasions but the because the school don't see any of it they are treating it as if it is not happening.

Hoping somebody out there will reply to me.

Thanks for reading.

Jamaicanbluetaz - xxxx

Parents

  • The other thing to take up with them is their stereotyping approach to your daughter.

    They are obviously reciting from a diagnostic text. Many training packages are based on the Triad of Impairments - which is a diagnostic - what to look for if trying to detect autism. It is not a guide to the everyday lives of people with autism, and in particular misses out things that aren't useful for distinguishing autism from other conditions. Also this approach fails to address sensory issues.

    Yes some children will mimic their peers. Others will mimic TV characters. But its not a universal stereotype, nor is it somehow inevitable behaviour. It is a response to anxiety about socialising, rehearsing how to do it when they find it otherwise to difficult. There's a section on this in Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome p27-28.

    But if a child doesn't mimic...... it means nothing at all.

    All people on the autistic spectrum are individuals. The manifestations are very variable, as the presence of different characteristics is widely variable from absent to marked, and it also depends on the individual's personality. So what they mean by saying "but is very individual" - they are looking for a stereotypical robot based on some silly reference book!

    I've explained the problem about where they get information from, in terms of approved SEN textbooks for teaching.

    But the staff in your daughter's school are not there to diagnose, they are there to help!  They are neither qualified nor appropriate persons to suggest they know better than you.

    They should liase with you. They should bow to your knowledge of your daughter's needs as a parent. They have absolutely no right, or qualifications to argue the toss with you about what's right for your daughter.

    In my view this school is behaving irresponsibly and unprofessionally. 

    I would reiterate to NAS (if I haven't bored everyone with this by now) that NAS needs to sort out what information is being supplied to teachers, by talking to the Education Boards about curriculum text books including SEN guides for teachers.

    But the teachers in this school are out of order. You are entitled to better than this, by far.

Reply

  • The other thing to take up with them is their stereotyping approach to your daughter.

    They are obviously reciting from a diagnostic text. Many training packages are based on the Triad of Impairments - which is a diagnostic - what to look for if trying to detect autism. It is not a guide to the everyday lives of people with autism, and in particular misses out things that aren't useful for distinguishing autism from other conditions. Also this approach fails to address sensory issues.

    Yes some children will mimic their peers. Others will mimic TV characters. But its not a universal stereotype, nor is it somehow inevitable behaviour. It is a response to anxiety about socialising, rehearsing how to do it when they find it otherwise to difficult. There's a section on this in Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome p27-28.

    But if a child doesn't mimic...... it means nothing at all.

    All people on the autistic spectrum are individuals. The manifestations are very variable, as the presence of different characteristics is widely variable from absent to marked, and it also depends on the individual's personality. So what they mean by saying "but is very individual" - they are looking for a stereotypical robot based on some silly reference book!

    I've explained the problem about where they get information from, in terms of approved SEN textbooks for teaching.

    But the staff in your daughter's school are not there to diagnose, they are there to help!  They are neither qualified nor appropriate persons to suggest they know better than you.

    They should liase with you. They should bow to your knowledge of your daughter's needs as a parent. They have absolutely no right, or qualifications to argue the toss with you about what's right for your daughter.

    In my view this school is behaving irresponsibly and unprofessionally. 

    I would reiterate to NAS (if I haven't bored everyone with this by now) that NAS needs to sort out what information is being supplied to teachers, by talking to the Education Boards about curriculum text books including SEN guides for teachers.

    But the teachers in this school are out of order. You are entitled to better than this, by far.

Children
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