• Replies 25 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 4590 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

School don't see my daughter's difficulties

jamaicanbluetaz

Hi there, I've just joined the community.  My 10 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers in July 2013.

She has always hated going to school and it got to the point that I changed her school to a smaller school in the hope things would change.  As it is things are the same.

Once I got the diagnosis I believed the school would be willing to help - ah yes, they say all the things I want to hear - then my daughter informs me they are not quite telling the truth.

Recently I had my third meeting with the headteacher - one of my daughter's year teachers and the SENCO.  My daughter does not have a statement.  She does not present symptoms or difficulties at school, however the stress of the whole school - information processing, social etc - builds up and then she has a huge meltdown at home over something trivial.

I put this in an e-mail - what the stressors at school were.

In the meeting I was told that children with asd cannot behave one way at school and differently at home - it was impossible for them.  If she is going to have a meltdown she would have it at school just as easily as at home!!  This is contrary to all the asperger literature I have read and discussed with others. 

Further they told me that they do not see her having any difficulties at school - she is no different to all the other children at school.  She does understand what she is doing, she needs a motivator to get her to work faster (she is slow at processing tasks etc!!) and as for difficulty in the dinner hall they will watch out for this but they cannot staff anywhere else for her to go.  As far as distractions go - she doesn't get affected by sensory distractions otherwise she would have made a fuss many times when there is painting or cooking etc happening in the school.  When I suggested ear plugs for her so she didn't find noises distracting they told me this was only used for severe autism and there was no need for my daughter to go down this route.

They are not seeing that all of this quietly builds up and up until she blows up and that to alleviate her pressure they only have to change a couple of things.

Basically there answer to all of my points was that is severe autism, not aspergers, she does not present this at school but they will watch out for it in future.

Has anybody else had problems like this - silly question I know people have had problems like this because I have heard it but now it is happening to me I don't know what to do.

I know this is a bit of a rant and may not make sense - but basically all the "typical" symptoms of Asperger Syndrome and some not so "typical" are apparent in my daughter at home and with what she says about not liking school and other social occasions but the because the school don't see any of it they are treating it as if it is not happening.

Hoping somebody out there will reply to me.

Thanks for reading.

Jamaicanbluetaz - xxxx

Parents

  • Which is why it is left to parents to ensure schools are educated in the facts.

    So email the SENCo's, heads, individual teachers, the NAS link given above, or print it off and present it face-to-face.

    Schools are under pressure yes, but that doesn't absolve them of putting the needs of pupils first.

    If a parent was home-educating and the experience was making their child so traumatised social services would soon be stepping in.  So we should not accept schools turning a blind eye to the effect their environment and lack of reasonable adjustments and support is doing to autistic children.

    They are probably looking at it, as out of sight out of mind, if they don't have a problem with the child at school then as far as they are concerned that's an easier life for them.

    What parents need to get across is this:

    • it is attendance at school that is specifically responsible for the child's problems outside of school;

     

    • by ignoring problems arising at home, they are putting a lid on a situation which will explode sooner or later and result in the crisis reaction which in the long run will be worse for the school and very detrimental to their pupil's wellbeing.

    I urge everyone to stand their ground with schools on this issue.  Don't give in and don't be fobbed off.  By parents putting pressure on the schools, this will feed higher up the chain and hopefully mean changes that are needed get brought in.

    Lobby your council's education department too, find out who the director of education is and hassle them until they do something.  The more parents do this, the more they have to sit up and take notice.

Reply

  • Which is why it is left to parents to ensure schools are educated in the facts.

    So email the SENCo's, heads, individual teachers, the NAS link given above, or print it off and present it face-to-face.

    Schools are under pressure yes, but that doesn't absolve them of putting the needs of pupils first.

    If a parent was home-educating and the experience was making their child so traumatised social services would soon be stepping in.  So we should not accept schools turning a blind eye to the effect their environment and lack of reasonable adjustments and support is doing to autistic children.

    They are probably looking at it, as out of sight out of mind, if they don't have a problem with the child at school then as far as they are concerned that's an easier life for them.

    What parents need to get across is this:

    • it is attendance at school that is specifically responsible for the child's problems outside of school;

     

    • by ignoring problems arising at home, they are putting a lid on a situation which will explode sooner or later and result in the crisis reaction which in the long run will be worse for the school and very detrimental to their pupil's wellbeing.

    I urge everyone to stand their ground with schools on this issue.  Don't give in and don't be fobbed off.  By parents putting pressure on the schools, this will feed higher up the chain and hopefully mean changes that are needed get brought in.

    Lobby your council's education department too, find out who the director of education is and hassle them until they do something.  The more parents do this, the more they have to sit up and take notice.

Children
No Data