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CONTROLLING ASD

Lisahb

Hi

We are currently undergoing assessment for our 4 (nearly 5) year old son but they keep saying as he is so young could just be developmental delays. 

But as you probably all went through at time of assessment researching has left us in no doubt that he is on the spectrum.

My only doubt is the way he can control himself in school.  He has just started full time and does not display any of the violence, stuborness etc that we have at home and with grandparents/friends.  He thrives on the routine of school.  He only has one friend and just tends to go into a trance at free time or follow other children around.  School do not see it which makes the assessment process harder he is really bright so they are quite happy academically. He is quite and well behaved (this is out of character for him as he is not quite he only goes like this when is unsure of a situation). We seem to get the horrible behaviour/akwardness twice as harsh when he gets home and on a weekend.

Although I struggle with homework as he will only do the bits he understands and likes and wont entertain the parts doent want to do.  (Sorry rambling).

So my question is can some children control ASD to a certain extent in certain settings??

Thanks

Lisa

 

Parents

  • Indeed, I've only just responded to another post like it about 24 hours ago.

    Part of the problem is what drives meltdowns or other reactive behaviour. There is this notion around that the cause of a meltdown must be immediate and obvious, and of course it usually isn't at all obvious, which makes it quite difficult for observers to understand.

    My own theory, and I can only offer it as theory, is that meltdowns are a last straw response - exactly the same in some respects to what can happen to anybody, if you have a bad day when everything goes wrong, and eventually you snap.

    However for people on the spectrum there is less capacity for coping with incoming information (like a bottleneck), and heightened sensitivity to environment. Social interchanges don't work well and cause anxiety. It is harder to resolve causes of anxiety so they go round and round in your head. The pressure to react is near the surface most of the time, and tires you out, and it doesn't take much, maybe something quite trivial, the last straw, to cause a meltdown. On the other hand the capacity to cope with such build-up of pressure is probably much higher in people on the spectrum than with NTs.

    The difference in school is peer pressure. For some children on the spectrum they aren't able to gauge this, so they do all the things their peers would rather they didn't do, which gets unwelcome attention and bullying. But some children are able to conform to peer pressure and survive a day at school.

    It just means when they come home from school, and its just you - none of their peers to witness, that's when the dam bursts.

    Be glad however that they are managing to conform at school. You really do not want it going the other way.

Reply

  • Indeed, I've only just responded to another post like it about 24 hours ago.

    Part of the problem is what drives meltdowns or other reactive behaviour. There is this notion around that the cause of a meltdown must be immediate and obvious, and of course it usually isn't at all obvious, which makes it quite difficult for observers to understand.

    My own theory, and I can only offer it as theory, is that meltdowns are a last straw response - exactly the same in some respects to what can happen to anybody, if you have a bad day when everything goes wrong, and eventually you snap.

    However for people on the spectrum there is less capacity for coping with incoming information (like a bottleneck), and heightened sensitivity to environment. Social interchanges don't work well and cause anxiety. It is harder to resolve causes of anxiety so they go round and round in your head. The pressure to react is near the surface most of the time, and tires you out, and it doesn't take much, maybe something quite trivial, the last straw, to cause a meltdown. On the other hand the capacity to cope with such build-up of pressure is probably much higher in people on the spectrum than with NTs.

    The difference in school is peer pressure. For some children on the spectrum they aren't able to gauge this, so they do all the things their peers would rather they didn't do, which gets unwelcome attention and bullying. But some children are able to conform to peer pressure and survive a day at school.

    It just means when they come home from school, and its just you - none of their peers to witness, that's when the dam bursts.

    Be glad however that they are managing to conform at school. You really do not want it going the other way.

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