Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been thinking recently about masking and the various means that one uses to mask. It has occurred to me, that the use of a ‘passive voice’ in my communication, is a big part of the way I write and speak.
I can remember all the way back to college, that tutors used to comment on my ‘wordiness’, I well-achieved (D*D*D*) in College but kids always used to say “You’re not that smart are you? You just write a lot”. The implication being that I was obscuring my lack of understanding. The more I’ve written, the better I have gotten at writing, but I still write a lot. I find that every now and again I take on a new element of language, but I always write a lot and I never reread, I just speed-write to victory. In my speech I do talk a lot, talking about anything at length and for length, I enjoy getting my thoughts out and enjoy how language is constructed in my head. But I also speak longer words and phrases in a disagreeable situation, to offset any aggressive reaction to my imperative, I find that a great rhetorical-tool can be found in elongated words and phrases and sentences.
I have thought that: Maybe it is because I have enjoy vocabulary but not grammar, or maybe it is because I never formally-learned grammar at school, or maybe I abandoned the ‘active voice’ as a means of non-detection and non-confrontation. It may even have been, a kind-of speed writing that I developed, to safely expose myself to writing and speech.
It has not been the case, that all the individuals that I know (who have an Autism Spectrum Condition), have a circumlocutory communication style. I have known some ASC individuals, to be very literal and active in their communication, and no less intelligent.
So I guess I am just interested to know: How this style of communication sits-with and is experienced by the community? Why the community thinks it occurs? Is it born of the environment and exposure? Is it a repetitive action or an interest? Is it a means of evasion or development? Is it the result of the level of skill attainment?
Hi, I'm not wordy at all when it comes to writing (in fact writing is the worst for me as it involves too many options and decisions and when I write I tend to be very concise and factual), but I do also use speaking a lot as a way of masking... It only occurred to me recently- I have barely been socialising at all and the past 2 attempts (because I really could not cancel), I found myself rambling on like an idiot and then I realised that it was actually a way of masking and coping with the situation. If I just randomly talk it means I do not have to engage in a 2 way conversation but I still on the surface may 'appear' to be social... not sure if that is how you feel when you use a more verbose communication style?
What you are describing also reminds me of when I was coming up with creative ways to avoid using 'you' in Luxembourgish, German or French as I could never decide whether I needed to use the polite or informal form. I became very good at wording sentences that didn't require a choice between informal vs polite form.
I think there are so many ways in which we mask that we are not even aware of... in fact maybe we should give ourselves more credit- we are being (even if subconciously) very inventive and resourceful in our ways to cope and mask. Though I just wish society was built in a way that did not require so much masking... it is sad really. I am somewhat in existential and actual crisis anyways today... feeling very much like I don't belong on this planet...
I feel like the English language is the greatest vehicle for reason and logic ever, because it has evolved over-time and has been painstakingly updated for centuries, it’s only recently been made a tool for fashionable assertion. Our forefathers have defended the English language from impractical regression for centuries.
Sometimes I feel that if I had a better command of grammar, I would have a way more dense, and complex means of rhetoric. But I feel that I only add a thing to the picture once it is understood by me, so that draws the question of competency, and the depth of my command of the English language.
Of course you belong on this planet Ann and my logic for that I s simple, as you are still willing to ‘voluntarily play’, and because you are still willing to pick up your pen despite your discouragement!
Now. Masking is a newer and more fluid part of ASC I feel, and it’s dimensions are still unknown, especially now that the more agreeable and discreet Autists are bleeding through their diagnoses stories. A big part of ASC for me, has been to discover my neurological strengths, and to discover the psychological baggage I’ve picked up along the way.
I have been really drawn to alternative psychologies in the past, and I am in the process of melding the various truths together. I can’t tell you how great it is, to discover that their are heads other than my own, to help in that process.
Thank you for the reply..:)