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Valentines Day

Catlover

As a youngster, I heard that on Valentines Day, the person who likes/loves you gives you a card, but leaves a question mark inside the card, instead of their name, so you have to guess who it was. Every year until my early teens,  I would worry about the possible card coming through the letterbox, and then get anxious about never being able to know who sent it.
Of course, every year I never had a card, and it made me devalue myself. I honestly thought I was unlovable and unliked because I’d never received one. Goodness, what a naive autistic child I was, taking things literally….
Bit sad, but it just popped into my mind, while being reminded on TV that Valentines is on its way.

I must say, I don’t like this sort of sentiment. Throughout my marriage we both felt somewhat forced to buy cards and gifts until we were much older, when we stopped because of the ridiculous commercialism.

  • My mum used to send me a valentine when I was younger if she didn't think anyone else was going to send me any.  It was a kind idea but I'm not sure that it was better than getting none!

  • 14th Feb will forever be #QuirkyAloneDay ever since finding out that that exists. A much needed counter-point on a day designed to make anyone who hasn't scurried to some compromise just for conformity's sake feel like an unwanted societal mutation. 

  • And all so horribly heteronormative too.

  • I have a friend who has been treated really badly by  a love interest recently.  I have sent her a card the try and cheer her up.
    I have purchased a moonpig card which I have sent to her, I’ve even arranged for the letter to be posted from another uk location so the post mark is not from Bristol. 
    I’m having seconds thoughts about the whole thing now. 

  • Valentine's cards seem to only available in 'one size fits all', gushingly twee and nauseating. My wife and I mostly get really nice chocolates for each other.

  • in reply to Steven

    Talk about literal-mindedness: I saw the picture of ^this^ Victorian card online, and immediately assumed that people really did send cards to their cats back then. Now I finally realise that it's more likely just a cute card for sending to a beloved human. Jeez... Disappointed

  • in reply to Steven

    You can now by birthday cards "from" your dog, so I guess that seems sensible in comparison.

  • I have never given or received a Valentine's Day card! (My wife and I don't do it for a whole bunch of reasons.)

    Slightly sad story: when I was about thirteen, I was going to school on Valentine's Day. I think there must have been a Tube problem that day, as the carriage was really crowded. I was quite short, and standing by the door, I was shielded from view from people just a metre or two away by all the adults in between.

    I heard some girls from my class talking nearby, but they couldn't see me. They had a blank Valentine's Day card and were planning to give it to one of the geeky boys as a "hilarious" prank. I heard them mention my name as one of the possible victims. I kind of hoped it was me, as I intended to be really nonchalant and throw it straight in the bin with an air of "Oh, do I really need yet another one of these?" To prank the pranksters. However, they must have sent it to someone else or decided not to play the prank as I never saw the card.

  • In the Victorian era, people sent Valentine cards to their cats. This makes sense to me, but then, it would. 

  • I don’t think there’s any rule that says valentines cards must be anonymous. People who send them anonymously are generally those who are too shy or who believed they will be rebuffed. I’ve also know people to send anonymous cards if they know the other person is attached. As a way of showing affection for someone you care for but can’t have in a way that isn’t likely to disrupt their relationship.

    I never used to get cards either. :( sent quite a few. I find it quite sad now that I can think of no one I’d want to send a card to.

  • It’s something when I was a child that upset me, it’s the popular people who got cards, what’s wrong with me? The  neurotypical joy of signing a card with a question mark, It’s another one of their, “ here’s a weird hint.” I’ve been married now for nearly 32 years, we don’t buy Valentine cards, being together for 35 years is testament enough.