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How to let me aspie friend know that I have a crush on him without putting our friendship in jeopardy

Aryya

Hi everyone,

It's my first post, I hope it's appropriate to put this here. I have a good friend for whom I have developed feelings but being autistic myself, I have no clue how to let him know I would be interested in more than friendship without being too blunt about it and making it look like an ultimatum. I looked online for advice but everything is directed at neurotypicals, I tried hinting but of course it doesn't work. I'm really okay staying friend with him but would like to let him know just in case there is a possibility, but I'm very afraid he will feel pressured into more and it will compromise our friendship. I know I have felt very uncomfortable when men I considered friends tried something more with me because I felt used and could never be sure afterwards that they really wanted to be my friend in the first place, so I'm really concerned about how he would react if he is not interested.

Any ideas how I could let him know without putting too much importance/pressure on the subject? Thanks!

  • Maybe a love letter? You can write out your feelings, as well as how you value your friendship and want to keep it even if he doesn’t have feelings for you. Then you can suggest 2 options for next steps. If he doesn’t feel the same way he can tell you and you can act like you never sent the letter. If he does like you … a date?

  • I'll say only this:

    Hello fellow demi-sexual.

    Others can't understand the period we experience before we develop affection, because for them it happens right at the beginning or never.

    Ask him if he knows what it means to be demisexual.

  • wouldnt have a clue even as a male how youd get his attention lol

    maybe just being blunt would work so he didnt have to guess and he could make a clear choice. being a male hed probably accept the idea of trying a relationship with you considering hes probably never had one himself and feels he probably never will be able to.

    i had this one girl in college that looking back on it now i think she was interested in me but at the time it went over my head. she followed me around and even tried to talk politics with me when i randomly went on a political rant lol but yeah us blokes are dumb when it comes to seeing signs anyones interested in us so you may actually have to be blunt and spell it out pretty clearly otherwise it may go over his head. as i said theres high chance hed accept anyway, but yeah its hard for you how to word it without it being cringe right? lol