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Pronouns...

I Sperg

Today I learned that one of my adult child's Friends Lorna now goes by the name Loz and identifies as male.  

Apparently if  am not to cause offence I now need to rejig a couple of decades of being vaguely aware of this person as a very feminine looking girl through to young woman and refer to Loz as HE in conversation from now on.

Loz's boyfriend apparently has had to make psychological adjustments that make my issues look trivial in comparison, but apparently he will do that for love.... 

Funny old world innit?

I will say this: The next time my o/h decides to crack wise at my expense, we'll see how she likes being effectively in a lesbian relationship for a while.. The cheapest way to go trans I've figured is to also change my faith at the same time. No biggie, we worship the same god, just in a diverse way.... Then al I need is a cheap and cheerful bhurka to chuck over the "cargo pants and tee", and the job is done! 

(I think I'll keep that one "in the hopper" for if my personal war of the sexes battlefield situation demands "special weapons" one day) We seem to be in a period of detente right now, so maybe I'll hold off ordering the bhurka...

Parents

  • Thinking about your recent post where you appeared to be actively pleading with NAS friends to un-friend you, my first thought upon reading this post was to question if you might be intentionally trying to provoke people. A case of, "They ignored my pleas, so now I'll have to up my game." Wink

    For what it's worth, I did not take offence at this post of yours, and I felt I 'got' what you were trying to say.

    As a heterosexual woman in my late forties, I openly admit that I struggle to get my head around this 'pronouns' business. Not because I think it's wrong or have an issue with people that identify as being non-binary, but because 'pronouns' (in the context of non-binary) are a relatively recent thing. I can't remember when it was that Eddie Izzard had announced that 'they' wanted to be referred to as they/them, but I frequently find myself slipping up and referring to they/them as he/him.

    To my mind, trying to remember that a she/her or he/him is now a they/them, is not that dis-similar to trying to make a conscientious to remember that Josephine Bloggs (who we have known for many years) is no longer a 'Miss' and now goes by the name of 'Mrs Josephine Jones'. 

    Despite being born in an era where homophobia and racism were rife, my parents had liberal attitudes, which I believe rubbed off on me. We would watch the likes of 'Alf Garnett' and laugh. Not because we agreed with the character's views, but because his bigoted beliefs seemed so ridiculous to us. 

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    A strange thing happened to me recently. I’m in a small discord server with some doctor who fans and one person on there  changed their name to a non binary one, and their pronouns from he/them to them. It don’t take me long to adjust - just  a couple of slip ups in week one. But then I met up in real life for a coffee with this one guy off the forum and when talking of this other person as a mutual friend, I suddenly found that I’d relapsed back to ‘he’ and ‘his’ etc. (the other fellow, younger than me, was instead flawless with a constent ‘they’ etc. and it just seemed a natural bi-product of being plugged in to the leading edge of things ‘natively’ if that makes sense). i kept apologising and amending and by the end had the ‘they’ thing in place. But I was surprised at myself for having to learn it once for online, then a second time verbally. As though some dinosaur part of my brain had stood with its arms crossed at the back of my brain even while I thought I was being all enlightened and stuff. Anyway, being in one’s forties we have to keep on our toes. Too young to give up and say ‘I’m not keeping up with change’(nor should we be saying that!), but too old for it to happen without a little more effort than millennials and younger who default yo ‘they’ when in doubt anyway. Evolution is speeding up a little in line with technology and it’s wonderful. But the middle aged among us may make tiny missteps as we do our best to be our best. 

  • in reply to Shardovan

    The first sentence made me chuckle. I knew what you meant, but it was how I read it... A doctor that fans, as opposed to 'some Doctor Who fans'. Knowing how much of a Doctor Who fan you are, I was curious as to why the mention of 'some doctor' who fans was considered relevant to include. Um, hope that makes sense? Laughing

    Your anecdote about the meet-up and frequent slip-ups sounds like something I too would be guilty of, but I'm glad you managed to eventually rectify it. From my perspective, unless the person you had met up with was also non-binary, they hopefully overlooked your slip-ups and didn't take offence.

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