Okay so plenty people on the planet and thus a good statistical liklihood I'm not alone in this, also heads up some tummy issues are gonna be described, but...
Today I had an over the top reaction to a really mundane thing.
I had been waiting for a next day delivery all morning when they said the delivery window should be (stuff I need before tomorrow to help keep up with work deadlines etc) and when the delivery window came and went I staterd to get really anxious that it wasn't gonna be delivered today at all.
I'd been winding myself up over it watching the glass panel in the door since 8:30 and all through lunch which I ate - I tried to eat slower but also felt like in reality I was eating super fast incase I would suddenly have to go answer the door. Anyway it's getting far too late as far as I'm concerned deliveries by Royal Mail don't normally come to this address after 2pm so I was just about to start resigning myself to the fact that it wuldn't come today and I'd have to just work around it.
Then just as I'd let my guard down the loudest most aggressive banging on m y door signified that it was finally being delivered, I physically jumped in fright and after taking the parcel and shutting the door again I felt like being sick tbh.
Such an awful experience, because if I was sick I know nobody would have seen the inner workings building up to that moment. And I feel like this is entirely emblematic of a lot of how autistic issues are percieved by allists and NTs tbh.
If this is also you, have you ever found a good prevention, or speedy resolve to this kind of anxiety and the physical symptoms that come with it?
Context: I don't just have ASC I also have OCD, CPTSD, PTSD (separate from CPTSD), hyper vigilance trauma response, and potentially ADD (ADHD no hyperactivity).