Do you get a chance to talk about your special interests?

It’s been very interesting to read through all of your responses here.

Firstly, I would like to apologise for not replying to each of you separately. I hope to at some point in the next few days where possible. I had a very long day at work and have only got round to reading your replies now. I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of replies, in a good way, but also, I wasn’t quite expecting to come back to so many! It really is appreciated though.

I hope that my initial post didn’t come across as a moan, I wasn’t really intending it to. Rather, it was a genuine question, as I hope to learn of people’s individual experiences on the matter.

I have found myself speaking less of my interests generally over the years, mainly due to the reasons I outlined above. I suppose I’d quite like that to change, but wasn’t sure how  to implement a change that would work in a conscientious way for both myself and the people I am conversing with.

I have found that I have never really had the confidence to join online groups, outside of this place that is, but also, I often doubt myself and get a feeling that I will be ‘rumbled for being an imposter’ by more knowledgeable individuals within those groups.

I also have to recognise that some of the things I enjoy about my special interests are quite difficult to communicate.

Take for example my interest in wood, I have a real interest in the patterns that emerge from wood grain when a finish is applied. The colour change is incredible, but so is the knowledge that it is natural growth over a significant time that created such beautiful patterns in the first place.

I love the grain of oak in particular, so much so that my wedding ring has an oak band made from an old Cornish tall ship running though it. The historic aspect of this is truly wonderful to me, as is the appearance and feel of it.

I also made myself a solid oak ring that I wear, but also use for stimming. The feel of it is incredible because I made it so smooth, hence the sensory satisfaction and soothing qualities of it, but the patterns and deep rich colours are so intriguing and inspiring. Plus, I made it myself which gives me a sense of pride.

Oak reminds me of home and time spent looking at and being near a famous oak tree, at least famous in my original neck of the woods anyway. If you’ll excuse the pun.  Oak trees are wonderful to look at too. I love how old and established they can become, whilst remaining relatively small in stature. They almost seem to grow wider rather than taller. Their gnarled and interwoven branches remind me of exploring tangents of thought, each connecting or crossing others and becoming a complex network of wonder. Oak leaves are an odd shape, but like the tree themselves, are quite the thing of beauty.

I just don’t get the impression that an online carpentry group would be the place to vocalise these thoughts. Perhaps this is too niche and I wonder if this side of my interest is  more relatable in an environment such as this. I hope this small example goes some way to demonstrate the worries I have about this, but then again, perhaps I am judging something before I’ve tried it and therefore I’m not giving it the credit it could in fact deserve.

I’m going to stop there for now, as I think I may currently be doing precisely what I was writing about in the first place and oversharing without checking whether or not people wanted to ‘hear’ it. If you made it through my ramble about about oak, you deserve a medal!

A wooden one… obviously…

I also have a feeling of impostor syndrome regarding some of my interests, at least in some situations. I think it's quite common. There might even be a thread on it somewhere here.

Part of me would like to unmask and speak more about my interests, but I worry about the consequences of doing so. Talking about my Judaism is something that I'm particularly wary of doing because some people are uncomfortable with religion, although there are so many misapprehensions about Jews out there that I feel like I should say something. Occasionally strangers stop me in the street with questions about Judaism. Sometimes, they're Christian missionaries, but sometimes they are just curious, but it's a weird dynamic for a conversation even without autism and social anxiety. I think your poetic and relatable thoughts about wood would be quite normal in comparison!

Unfortunately, I get the impression that a lot of us are quite hard on ourselves here. That certainly is the case for me anyway. The feeling of imposter syndrome is an odd thing to describe to those who have never experienced it, but my low self-esteem certainly doesn’t help navigate this either. Like many have reassured me of here though, your interests would be well regarded in this community I am sure. I know I certainly wouldn’t mind reading a few of your thoughts. Though I can’t imagine just walking up to somebody on the street and asking them questions! I once got talking to someone in the forestry service, I’m ashamed to say that I think the depth I went into about trees bored even them!

Unfortunately, I get the impression that a lot of us are quite hard on ourselves here. That certainly is the case for me anyway. The feeling of imposter syndrome is an odd thing to describe to those who have never experienced it, but my low self-esteem certainly doesn’t help navigate this either. Like many have reassured me of here though, your interests would be well regarded in this community I am sure. I know I certainly wouldn’t mind reading a few of your thoughts. Though I can’t imagine just walking up to somebody on the street and asking them questions! I once got talking to someone in the forestry service, I’m ashamed to say that I think the depth I went into about trees bored even them!