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Toilet-training: breaking the nappy habit

NAS77393

Hi all, my son is 4 years old and on the autism pathway with a serious case of demand avoidance; we are having some real problems getting him to toilet train and I think it's having a knock-on effect on his health more generally (we are speaking to the GP about this). He goes to nursery and holds his wee all day, then comes home and wees in a nappy (then we put pants back on). He has gone through phases when he will sit on the toilet, but he won't wee into it (and now after the Christmas holidays he won't even go into the bathroom anymore). He is unbribable. 

We think it's partly a sensory issue, but no amount of help from our behavioral therapist or OT is making a difference. Has anyone gone through anything similar? 

Many thanks,

Lauren

Parents

  • My advice would be that he is not ready and to Stop trying. let him wear a nappy/pull up. Give him the option to use a toilet if he wants to. If your bathroom is big enough always change him in the bathroom. But just Take the pressure off. You could always use a cheap brand of nappy they tend to be less comfortable to wear or use reusable ones as they will feel wet and uncomfortable. It may just be best though to stick to whatever they are used to as it is concerning that they are refusing to wee. That could lead to all sorts of medical issues. But just re visit it in a couple of months. Forcing something isn’t worth it. It’s Very common for autistic children to be developmentally behind. Just because society thinks they should be potty trained doesn’t mean that they are ready. My brother was nearly 5 before being fully potty trained (it was a long drawn out process) admittedly I understand there is a pressure to get them potty trained before school. (But as we home Ed it didn’t matter.) you will just have to be in contact with your LA and they will have to find a suitable school where they are able to deal with it. My brother still wears pull ups at night. He is 7, and developmentally I would say he is 4. Just adapt to them, life is a lot simpler when you do. Especially with demand avoidance.

Reply

  • My advice would be that he is not ready and to Stop trying. let him wear a nappy/pull up. Give him the option to use a toilet if he wants to. If your bathroom is big enough always change him in the bathroom. But just Take the pressure off. You could always use a cheap brand of nappy they tend to be less comfortable to wear or use reusable ones as they will feel wet and uncomfortable. It may just be best though to stick to whatever they are used to as it is concerning that they are refusing to wee. That could lead to all sorts of medical issues. But just re visit it in a couple of months. Forcing something isn’t worth it. It’s Very common for autistic children to be developmentally behind. Just because society thinks they should be potty trained doesn’t mean that they are ready. My brother was nearly 5 before being fully potty trained (it was a long drawn out process) admittedly I understand there is a pressure to get them potty trained before school. (But as we home Ed it didn’t matter.) you will just have to be in contact with your LA and they will have to find a suitable school where they are able to deal with it. My brother still wears pull ups at night. He is 7, and developmentally I would say he is 4. Just adapt to them, life is a lot simpler when you do. Especially with demand avoidance.

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