i have an autistic son aged 12 who refuses to go to school more than a couple times a week ,we are getting so much pressure from his school regarding his attendance has anybody found themselves in a similar position.
i have an autistic son aged 12 who refuses to go to school more than a couple times a week ,we are getting so much pressure from his school regarding his attendance has anybody found themselves in a similar position.
Schools have to be seen to improve attendance but are often not easy places for autistic pupils. It seems often that strategies are set up for everyone to conform in the same way. My son struggles to do a whole week, although he tries to manage this. Sometimes there are specific reasons, but other times it appears that he is exhausted from the effort of trying to manage the work and not being seen to be different.
You may need to find ways of being curious as to what he finds difficult about going into school. Is it understanding instructions? Is it the busyness/ noise of assemblies or moving around school? Is it free time like break and lunchtime? Is it that he doesn't know what to do if he is in a lesson and feels anxious? Is it sensitivity regarding clothing?
I presume you have contact with the SENCO. They should be able to discuss any reasonable adjustments and work with you to help your son feel more confident in increasing the number of days he is there.
All I can say is that school can be a difficult place to be as an autistic child. I never liked school and when I was around 11 it got worse and I didn't want to go anymore/ would wake up with tummy aches etc. I ended up changing schools after that year and I was very lucky to have that opportunity and it did help somewhat but it still didn't make school a good experience, which is sad. That's not how it should be- learning can be so much fun and school should be a safe space for everyone but sadly that is not the case in many schools.
do you know what aspect of school he finds particularly challenging? is there anything the school could do to make the school experience better for him? Does he learn well from home? Would it be possible to allow him to study from home for part of the time? Also is there anything he does like about school? I unfortunately can't offer practical advice on how to deal with pressure from school about attendance as I did not grow up in the UK and am not familiar with the system here. I hope you find a way to make things better, there is clearly something about school that is not right at all for him and I really hope you find a way to make things better as it can have such a huge impact.
I didn't know that I was autistic when I was at school but I am very grateful that I was able to change schools and that I had the support from my mum all the way through my school time- I think she gave me a lot of stability and support and that helped me get through it and manage to get to a really nice university- it got a lot better at uni for me. Your son is still really young but I think what also helped me make it through school was that once I got a bit older I very much focused on the academic side and on my aim to go to university- that helped block out some of the difficult aspects of school but I do feel scarred from my school years.
if you can find out what it is that worries him about school specifically, then adjustments can be made
Exactly that.
My adulthood made me reluctant in stating the conclusions literally.
Your son might be (one of his 'internal' autistic traits might be being) alexithymic or thinking in pictures, those two reasons make expressing feelings a lot harder, and it looks like it developing slower than others kid develop it it, while it is just inability (yet, it will develop with time) and uncertainty in deciphering overwhelming feelings, mixture of them, allistic kids don't feel them with such intensity so it's easier for them to decipher them
If he does not express himself well, that just means you need to give him patience and time to find the right words. If he's Pda pressing him is not going to work. I personally need at least twice as much time as people expect to express my own thoughts, and my feelings are even worse because I dont feel them the same way and can't always interpret them.
Think about the amount of stress the school is giving you and your wife, and then imagine how much more that might be for your son who has to spend all day there! So if you can find out what it is that worries him about school specifically, then adjustments can be made to make school more welcoming for him.
can only get him in maybe twice a week ,doctor will write a letter to school saying thats all he can manage at present due to PDA form of autism but got a feeling school will take no notice,we are getting so much grief off them for his attendance ,puts more stress on my wife and me as we dont want to pressure my son and send him backwards again,he does not express him self well and as was pointed out he does dodge answer and just get anxious if you press him
