Fluctuating Symptoms

I feel the same about my two sons aged 9 &10, they are due to have assessments in the next month and I don't know if it's because my husband and I are trying to be more understanding and aware of some challenges or because there is less stress for my older son but he definitely seems to be coping better than a few months ago when he was under quite a lot of stress with 11+ tests.  Now I seem to be struggling more with my younger son who has moved up a year where there is a lot more work & he is preparing for his 11+ tests.  Sometimes he will refuse to go to school or play in a football match with his team outside of school even though these are things he generally enjoys.  I think I find it difficult that I don't know what I'll be dealing with day to day, if they will be overwhelmed or cope really well with a big task or the smallest.  I feel like I'm treading on egg shells.  

I am getting quite anxious about the assessments, talking to my sons about it and the outcome.  I think I will find it harder if the outcome is that they are neurotypical.  A couple of my friends have commented that I'm already assuming they are on the spectrum.  I think that's because if I don't, the situation at home becomes so difficult with arguments and meltdowns.  

I find it really difficult when they are rude and obnoxious to each other or to me, which is several times a day.  I have been told not to take it personally, but it's not easy.  I feel like I'm failing most of the time and am a crap mum, today I was crying because it all got on top of me.  I get quite anxious in general, and I'm sure the boys must feed of this even though I try not to outwardly display it.  

I feel the same about my two sons aged 9 &10, they are due to have assessments in the next month and I don't know if it's because my husband and I are trying to be more understanding and aware of some challenges or because there is less stress for my older son but he definitely seems to be coping better than a few months ago when he was under quite a lot of stress with 11+ tests.  Now I seem to be struggling more with my younger son who has moved up a year where there is a lot more work & he is preparing for his 11+ tests.  Sometimes he will refuse to go to school or play in a football match with his team outside of school even though these are things he generally enjoys.  I think I find it difficult that I don't know what I'll be dealing with day to day, if they will be overwhelmed or cope really well with a big task or the smallest.  I feel like I'm treading on egg shells.  

I am getting quite anxious about the assessments, talking to my sons about it and the outcome.  I think I will find it harder if the outcome is that they are neurotypical.  A couple of my friends have commented that I'm already assuming they are on the spectrum.  I think that's because if I don't, the situation at home becomes so difficult with arguments and meltdowns.  

I find it really difficult when they are rude and obnoxious to each other or to me, which is several times a day.  I have been told not to take it personally, but it's not easy.  I feel like I'm failing most of the time and am a crap mum, today I was crying because it all got on top of me.  I get quite anxious in general, and I'm sure the boys must feed of this even though I try not to outwardly display it.