Published on 12, July, 2020
I have to admit it's not my fav time of year. I liked it when I was really little because of Santa and presents but now I'm an adult it just makes me anxious. Everything about it causes me anxiety and discomfort. The shops and town become super busy and loud, bright lights are flashing everywhere, it's colder usually, everything gets expensive and family always mix and party which I find very hard to cope with. I just want to hide away for the whole month and come back in January. I know it's not Christmas yet but it's closing in fast and I'm already anxious and dreading it.
I have always loved the conditioned expectation of Santa Claus visiting. For whatever reason I seem incapable of freeing myself from that insane training. I am attracted to the right to be unbearably excited. The balancing aftermath consists of the directly opposite feelings to the unbelievable joy: I dread that. It feels like appalling grief.