What next

Hi. Im after some advice regarding my 12 year old son .He was diagnosed with ASD eventually last year after six years of trying to get school and outside help to realise something was amiss. Seems like mothers instinct or mother knows best is not an instinct to go on anymore. Well after the debarcle of getting him diagnosed, primary school dragged their feet as there was only one term to go before transition to secondary, consequently all the forms were incomplete and my son did not get statemented. With the end of his first year at secondary I am no closer to getting him statemented, school SEN is doing a "round robin" trying to get proof from all teachers and TA's about my sons underachievement and inability to make friends easily. The advice Im seeking is along the lines of friendship. As he does not put himself over very well, tells tales and is mentally half his age in a lot of his social life, will him joining yet another club or getting him his own personal pet be a helpful road to take. Cant buy friendship well not the kind one wants for their child,  a natural bonding and sharing of interests. A pet to some degree would be a welcome addititon but he would want a cat( we live on a one way system so not a good choice there) or a dog, I work so dont like the idea of an animal alone at home all day). Has anyone on the forum used a pet as a new addition to their childs life and how has it transformed or improved their self esteem . My son does drama and scouts so feel he is getting enough group activity. Want something that is for him and him alone. Any good advice appreciated.

Kind regards

450frances

Parents
  • Hi been a while since I posted but here goes. My son finally got statemented and is still failing at school though he has progressed in friendships and I relented and got him a cat which he adores, Jacobite a lovely burmese house cat. The bullying was being monitored well, kids being suspended etc but now my son has got himself into trouble by pulling a pair of scissors on his tormentors. he has been excluded for a full school week, other lads have been punished too . I do not condone what my son did but trying to get him to realise his reaction was wrong after all the times we have talked about how to deal with frustration and not get aggressive is proving a challenge. He knows how upset I am over this though he knows I understand why he is the way he is. He is stuck in the world of fantasy half the time either lara croft or james bond themed. He will dohis suspension and restart with a clean slate but the fear of him doing something more serious is now plaquing me. I think going back to CAMHS may be an idea. Have done parent puzzle and the odd workshop but need some fresh outside support for myself. Hope this makes a bit of sense, any positive comments welcome.

Reply
  • Hi been a while since I posted but here goes. My son finally got statemented and is still failing at school though he has progressed in friendships and I relented and got him a cat which he adores, Jacobite a lovely burmese house cat. The bullying was being monitored well, kids being suspended etc but now my son has got himself into trouble by pulling a pair of scissors on his tormentors. he has been excluded for a full school week, other lads have been punished too . I do not condone what my son did but trying to get him to realise his reaction was wrong after all the times we have talked about how to deal with frustration and not get aggressive is proving a challenge. He knows how upset I am over this though he knows I understand why he is the way he is. He is stuck in the world of fantasy half the time either lara croft or james bond themed. He will dohis suspension and restart with a clean slate but the fear of him doing something more serious is now plaquing me. I think going back to CAMHS may be an idea. Have done parent puzzle and the odd workshop but need some fresh outside support for myself. Hope this makes a bit of sense, any positive comments welcome.

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