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help/Advice needed for Male 41yrs in Rotherham/Barnsley, South Yorkshire area just finding out AS sufferer!

Sunderlandafclad
hi im a 41 year old male, originally from Sunderland, Tyne & Wear but now living in Brampton, Barnsley, S.Yorks, who has just started the road to find out if I have AS. My GP seems to understand my position and readily agreed to refer me once I gave her my reasons why I think I am AS.
Sorry if this post goes on abit!
Are there any adults in the area had experience to getting a diag in Barnsly S.Yorks?
A bit of background,
I dont know if this is a glaring point that should have made myself and ex-Wife contemplate one of us could also have AS but anyway we have two kids, one 18 male and one 16 female who have both been diag as AS, my daught has a larger impact on her day to day life. Both children live with mum full time but stay with me for days here and there.
Upuntil last week, the thought that I could have it also just did not enter my mind! I served in the Armed Forces for a few years so I am very regimented in my routines, and re-married afew years ago. I was discharged out of the for es after 7 years after breaking my back in a parachute accident, suffer mobility problems as a result. My wife assumed my traits were due to my army experience. Now my wife studied at Uni for a psychology degree so has some experience with autism through her studies. Recently we got a Golden Retriever puppy and that event has led to the possability of being a sufferer. 
Apprently I command my wife in what she should do regards the training of the dog and this got her upset, now of course to me I do not see my offer of advice as hurtful in its presentation but it obviously did to my wife and resulted in a day of her in. Despondent state not really interacting me so I asked what I had done wrong, lenghty chats ensue!
She yet again suggested to me That she felt I showed classic signs of autistic behaviour as per the work covered in her degree. Now my wife has said this a few times but I have chosen not to belive it but this time I said right we will look into it.
Upon searching for information I came across a couple of web sites with tests to try see if you are or not. One was two questions about actions and intent with certain action, I aswered it as I saw it, which showed I was very likely a sufferer of AS. Next I did a test of around 50 questions by a prof Simon Baron-Cohen of the Cambridge Uni Autism dept.
This to my surprise gave me a high score of 41 showing very likely having Autism Spectrum Disorder, this I have to say shocked me greatly and found it vey hard to take in the implacations. As such I got my Wife, Step-Son and Step-Daughter to do the test, each getting 12 for wife, 9 for Step-Daughter and 15 for my Step-Son. The range was below 29 you were unlikely of having AS, 30 - 33 quite likely to have AS and 34 upwards a very High likelyhood of having AS.
As I got 41 this did rock me somewhat, I then asked my Daughter who is quite effected by her AS and she scored 46 so I wasnt far off hers! Infact I went through the questions with my wife and my responces and a few she said a few I had answered were wrong and I should have said different which would have taken my score even Higher!
Anyway are there any clubs/groups/websites/people in the area to chat etc?
Any advice would be great advice as I come to terms and try to adapt my life to try and mitigate times where I do upset people etc, especially my wife and family etc.
Thanks in advance
Andy

  • Welcome, Sunderland.

    Lot of detail there, classic AS trait. I always wondered if Bear Grylls has Aspergers reading his book, has to learn about the landscape and survival environment but is easier than learning about the social environment around people. Low pain threshold, high analytical mind, lack of fear, lack of girlfriends, felt better climbing a side of a mountain, took him years to tell his wife to be,, that he like her,, used to talk her walks for miles and miles. Poor lassie

    I mention Bear, because when I read your post, I thought off him and how it would be difficult for a person with aspergers leaving the army, but at the same time can understand why the army would appeal to some with aspergers, rules, routines, functional objectives and all that. And high specialist SAS work in Bears case.

    A routine or your own rules is good for coping with AS, but instilling routines or ways of doing things on others is controlling. It is better to ask them how they would or do things, this one allows you to engage at a softer level and have some input and also makes your social world more understanding, you know what is coming, no surprises or spring ups.

    Hopefully your family will understand the condition in time and that there is no malace ment, just be direct and honest with them, ask them to ask you things in a series of  small specific questions so you can reply in a specific matter, so no cross-lines exist.

    With other members of your family having the condition you have a head start on other people normally diagnosed with the condition.

    My advice support each other.

    Good luck

     

     

     

  • Hi there,

    I've deleted the other copy of this thread, in order to keep discussion together. I hope that's OK.

    Best wishes,

    Alex R - mod