• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 35 subscribers
  • Views 2169 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Lonely around people

NAS81728

How do people deal with feeling lonely when you’re surrounded by othere especially when they’re all making friends?

For me the thing I struggle with is that I’m not lonely because I want to be with people as actually I find navigating and making friendships draining and they never work out. 
what I struggle with is looking around and seeing people being so relaxed, building relationships and as much as I try to work out how they do it, I just can’t and it’s that that confuses me and makes me feel isolated. It’s like there’s this invisible source that others can see that makes people be natural with others but I can’t see it. It feels frustrating that I can’t work it out.  


My current living situation means I’m surrounded by peers that are slowly building friendships and the longer it’s going on, the more adrift and out of step I feel in the environment.

Does anyone else feel this confusion and isolation over watching other make friends around you so easily? How do you deal with the lonely feeling?

  • no i totally get it. this is exactly how i feel

  • I understand, It’s always like that for me too, it’s heartbreaking watching others interact, because I want what they have too but every time I try to get it it’s like there’s nothing there 

  • hello there, yeah i get it all the time, even Friends ive made in past (though i find it hard to call anybody a friend, trust problems i suppose), i struggle to even realise how i myself made them, let alone others.

    even just i dunno, talking to anybody, and when i cant really "hold down" the conversation or just, i dunno, yeah, im getting confused even thinking about it lol.

    things just happen i suppose, only explanation i can find in myself is "random chance"

  • i dunno.... depends how you view friendship... it can be one sided, perhaps you view them as friends, but you dont talk to them and they dont talk to you, perhaps because of that they might not view you as a friend, but just their presence alone is enough for you to view them as a friend, and perhaps one day they will see you for a friend and realise that your more of a friend than their talkative open friends.

  • I also struggle with conversation and making friends 

  • I totally get the confusion and isolation when observing other people make friends easily. 

    Pre pandemic I travelled on cruises solo a few times. For the first few times I would force myself to attend the daily solo traveller meet up, even though I hated going. At first it was ok, everyone was travelling alone and nobody knew anybody else. We were all in the same boat, so to speak Laughing I had rehearsed scripted questions I could do.

    Then as the week progressed it would get more and more difficult for me to know what to say. I couldn't keep asking the same rehearsed questions. Whilst other peoples conversations became less stilted and more relaxed I would become more anxious and withdrawn. By the end of the cruise others had formed couples or friendship groups and were visibly exchanging contact details.

    I think being in those type of situations does heighten feelings of isolation and loneliness. Personally I deal with it now by not putting myself in those situations, so I don't have to watch and experience those feelings. Last time I went on a cruise I didn't go to any of the solo meet ups and felt much happier for it. If I'm on my own, away from other people, very rarely do I feel lonely.

    The experiences made me realise how bad my social skills are. I mistakenly thought that other solo travellers might be quiet misfits like me, but what I observed wasn't like that at all. Maybe there were others like me on the cruise but they were all hiding out in their cabins, too anxious to attend the meets!