• Replies 23 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 2903 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Moderation, respect, and offensive language.

Scorpion0x17

I find the following post deeply concerning:

Autismtwo,

Please stop this. You have no business demanding that Rachel uses words in a particular way. You have already been asked recently to treat other users with respect. This is your last warning. If you do this again, your posts will be moderated, requiring approval from me, or one of the other moderators, before they are published.

When you signed up, you agreed to obey rule 1:

"Don’t post messages that are offensive or insulting to other users."

You made your own views about Rachel's words very clear. This has now gone well beyond that, into aggression and harassment.

I know you don't like the way the NAS does things. I have never censored your opinions about us. But when you harass other users like this, we will intervene.

If you wish to discuss this privately, please email community.manager@nas.org.uk.

Yours,

Alex R - mod

A post was made that used language that several members, who have clearly stated that they themselves are on the autistic spectrum in numerous posts, found to be offensive and dengrating to those on the spectrum.

When this was pointed out it was dismissed out of hand by the original poster, as if the use of such language did not matter.

The above quoted post clearly takes the side of the original poster, and thus, by implication, condones the use of that language.

Should not a representative of the NAS at the very least remain neutral in such matters (reprimanding both those who denigrate people on the spectrum and those who speak out against it too strongly)?

Should an NAS representative not also be aware of the nature of the traits common amongst many on the spectrum and, in particular, their propensity to use very honest, direct, and sometimes too blunt, language without meaning any disrespect or offence?

Should a representative of the NAS, in fact, not actively discourage any language that denigrates those on the spectrum, not matter how mild the nature of the denigration?

Are these not things that every representative of the NAS, no matter their position, or role, should do, and bear in mind, at all times when dealing with the public, or anyone else, be they on the spectrum, or not?

Parents

  • longman said:

    This is a valuable help service - a means by which people suddenly affected by autism, whether by adult diagnosis, as a parent of a child diagnosed, or a relative of one. It is also important for those struggling with social services to come on here and share experiences and learn from collective knowledge.

    Fortunately most of that interface goes on in separate dialogues. Generally the parents of children don't read the postings of adult discussions. And mostly the adults don't read all the stuff about looking after babies. 

    There is some cross-over but usually beneficial.

    What happened here was that in the TITLE of a posting a mother described a toddler's behaviour as crazy. If she had used the word "crazy" in the text instead of the title, would autismtwo and Scorpion0x17 have noticed? Do you guys normally read postings on toilet training?

    Had the respondent used crazy in a thread in an adult context well and good. But this was a mother trying to support an autistic child, and struggling to find the right words.

    This was a thread that the adults on the spectrum had no business commenting on. Yet in a thread about helping a child with autism, in charge a brigade of over-sensitive adults shouting outrage that the word "crazy" was used. 

    Well what you did was "crazy" - inappropriate, insensitive, thoughtless, selfish - and to anyone reading it I'll happily use "mad" "insane" "stupid" "looney" anything you want to take issue with me about. Because that's the truth - nothing to do with political correctness. The way you came down on this mother was lunatic behaviour.

    And she hasn't posted since the 14th June. And I suspect she has withdrawn. And this site now wont be available to her to help support her toddler.

    And don't tell me yhour truly atrocious behaviour was justified by being on the autistic spectrum because it absolutely wasn't!

    Now please, for all our sakes, DROP THIS NONSENSE.

    Firstly,

    You have absolutely no right to tell me what I should or should not do, Longman.

    Or are you now a moderator of these forums?

    No, I thought not.

    Secondly,

    Actually, yes, I read many of the posts, in most of the forums, and reply to many of them.

    The only forum I really don't read is the education one as this is an area where I have little to no knowledge.

    Thirdly,

    Yes, if it had been in the body of a post I had read I would most likely have commented on it.

    Fourthly,

    Regarding here not posting since the 14th - her first ever post on the site was on the 31/12/2012.

    Her second post was the post in which she used the word "crazy" on the 10/06/2012 - nearly 6 months later.

    Fifthly,

    Regarding whether she is likely to return, her last post, on 14/06/2012 read as follows:

    All I wanted was to find out why my son gets so distressed in the bathroon so  I could help him.  I have done  some research and  comic strip with Joshua to  get an idea how I could releave him from the stress.  Now I have ordered a padded toilet seat, as he told me the other one is to hard. I also  found some strawberry toothpaste as the mint one stings his mouth.  I am a caring mother and finger crossed that this will help to releave some of the stress  my son has to deal with.  If it does i will post it on the site to help others.

    That to me sounds like a person who has got at least some of the answers she wished to receive, and who, because said it herself at the end of the post, will return.

    Sixthly,

    Whilst it is too early to be sure, the pattern of her postings would suggest is the type of poster who will, most likely only post here when she has a question and will spend long periods of time away from the site.

    Seventhly,

    Please point out exactly where I shouted outrage. I did not. My posts were calm, thoughtful, and respectful.

    You may not agree with my point of view, but that, frankly, is irrelevent.

    Eighthly,

    You now are shouting outrage at me. Pot calling the kettle black perchance?

    Ninethly,

    And I repeat this point again, because it is of utmost import, you have no right to tell me, or anyone, what they should or should not post to whom or about what.

    You are not a moderator of these forums.

    Please get down off your high horse, and stop your moral tirade.

    It is none of your business.

    Tenthly,

    You have now reached the point where I have no choice but to report your posts to the moderators - you have insulted me by calling me childish and now lunatic.

    Those are direct personal insults and go way beyond anything I have posted either to you or anyone else.

Reply

  • longman said:

    This is a valuable help service - a means by which people suddenly affected by autism, whether by adult diagnosis, as a parent of a child diagnosed, or a relative of one. It is also important for those struggling with social services to come on here and share experiences and learn from collective knowledge.

    Fortunately most of that interface goes on in separate dialogues. Generally the parents of children don't read the postings of adult discussions. And mostly the adults don't read all the stuff about looking after babies. 

    There is some cross-over but usually beneficial.

    What happened here was that in the TITLE of a posting a mother described a toddler's behaviour as crazy. If she had used the word "crazy" in the text instead of the title, would autismtwo and Scorpion0x17 have noticed? Do you guys normally read postings on toilet training?

    Had the respondent used crazy in a thread in an adult context well and good. But this was a mother trying to support an autistic child, and struggling to find the right words.

    This was a thread that the adults on the spectrum had no business commenting on. Yet in a thread about helping a child with autism, in charge a brigade of over-sensitive adults shouting outrage that the word "crazy" was used. 

    Well what you did was "crazy" - inappropriate, insensitive, thoughtless, selfish - and to anyone reading it I'll happily use "mad" "insane" "stupid" "looney" anything you want to take issue with me about. Because that's the truth - nothing to do with political correctness. The way you came down on this mother was lunatic behaviour.

    And she hasn't posted since the 14th June. And I suspect she has withdrawn. And this site now wont be available to her to help support her toddler.

    And don't tell me yhour truly atrocious behaviour was justified by being on the autistic spectrum because it absolutely wasn't!

    Now please, for all our sakes, DROP THIS NONSENSE.

    Firstly,

    You have absolutely no right to tell me what I should or should not do, Longman.

    Or are you now a moderator of these forums?

    No, I thought not.

    Secondly,

    Actually, yes, I read many of the posts, in most of the forums, and reply to many of them.

    The only forum I really don't read is the education one as this is an area where I have little to no knowledge.

    Thirdly,

    Yes, if it had been in the body of a post I had read I would most likely have commented on it.

    Fourthly,

    Regarding here not posting since the 14th - her first ever post on the site was on the 31/12/2012.

    Her second post was the post in which she used the word "crazy" on the 10/06/2012 - nearly 6 months later.

    Fifthly,

    Regarding whether she is likely to return, her last post, on 14/06/2012 read as follows:

    All I wanted was to find out why my son gets so distressed in the bathroon so  I could help him.  I have done  some research and  comic strip with Joshua to  get an idea how I could releave him from the stress.  Now I have ordered a padded toilet seat, as he told me the other one is to hard. I also  found some strawberry toothpaste as the mint one stings his mouth.  I am a caring mother and finger crossed that this will help to releave some of the stress  my son has to deal with.  If it does i will post it on the site to help others.

    That to me sounds like a person who has got at least some of the answers she wished to receive, and who, because said it herself at the end of the post, will return.

    Sixthly,

    Whilst it is too early to be sure, the pattern of her postings would suggest is the type of poster who will, most likely only post here when she has a question and will spend long periods of time away from the site.

    Seventhly,

    Please point out exactly where I shouted outrage. I did not. My posts were calm, thoughtful, and respectful.

    You may not agree with my point of view, but that, frankly, is irrelevent.

    Eighthly,

    You now are shouting outrage at me. Pot calling the kettle black perchance?

    Ninethly,

    And I repeat this point again, because it is of utmost import, you have no right to tell me, or anyone, what they should or should not post to whom or about what.

    You are not a moderator of these forums.

    Please get down off your high horse, and stop your moral tirade.

    It is none of your business.

    Tenthly,

    You have now reached the point where I have no choice but to report your posts to the moderators - you have insulted me by calling me childish and now lunatic.

    Those are direct personal insults and go way beyond anything I have posted either to you or anyone else.

Children
No Data