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help with unplanned stuff

tinydisk

Hi I am trying to find a better way to help my asd girlfriend, when unplanned *** happens that causes her to be overwhelmed [ not the stuff we know is happening that may or may not cause issues...that's a different game]


I am looking for ways you deal with being overwhelmed, please read the below insert which better describes what I am looking for help with

what to do if a flight is delayed, and what you’ll do if the pot roast doesn’t turn out right. It’s a small extra effort that will make your ASD spouse feel more secure, so they know what to do in the event plans go awry.Having a plan in place when xxx is overwhelmed has saved us a lot of heartache.Your ASD spouse needs calming strategies when they are overstimulated and figuring out those strategies in advance makes dealing with sensory overload much easier

we have def had the late to martial arts class due to traffic meltdown or burnt dinner meltdown or many over unplanned things 

all viewpoints welcome 

  • For me what helps is understanding how autism affects me and I'm learning to take a step back. e.g. that I have a Plan in my head and I know if there are changes to The Plan I find this unexpected thing difficult. So I say to myself - "i recognise what is happening now. I need time to adjust then i'll be ok". And to give myself that time. Everything will be swimming around in my head and I'll feel angry or frustrated but accpeting that feeling and know it'll pass. I understand WHY it's happening.  Also to ask myself how important this unexpected thing is. If the food doesn't turn out right, that's ok. It's not what I wanted but it's not a catastrophe.

    It's work in progress of course.

  • Regarding possible delays I make plans of what I might do if something happens. 

    Regarding the dinner, I have a quick replacement ready to go, so could be pasta with fried bacon and frozen mixed veg. or even beans on toast, maybe with grated cheese. It doesn't stop the feeling of it going wrong but at least you get to eat something.