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Think yourself out of it

Silver100

Do any of you find that if you're "intelligent" people expect for to "overcome" your AS symptoms, when they don't have this expectation of people they see as "less-intelligent"?

I have used my intellect to learn consciously how to interpret peoples' behaviour in some circumstances so I don't make the mistakes I did as a child, and it has helped me understand my self better, but there is so much that is not available to intellectual influence, let alone control.

I find this view very irritating.

  • Scorpion ~ spot on,, I agree totally with your assessment of adding in SQ, makes good sense.

    Silver ~  quoted "You should be able to control your emotions"... I still think that is not emotions that we have to control, but a form of confusion or autism mist,,  which our autism brains are trying to work out sensory cognitive social and emotional signals all at the one time which makes us overwhelmed, and creates a some sort of emotional confusion barrier which causes a flooding, overwhelmed and meltdown, or as I call it the autism mist Tongue Out. Silver has adapted intellectual and more emotional aware given practice and a calm environment over time.   

    Susie ~ I think you are right,, high functioning autism intelligence can be curse to getting recognised assistance, I have found this too at social cost, being honest has caused me an angst with the world !  

     

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Silver100 it is intensely irratating and I'm glad you brought that up. Also myself and my son struggle to get support because we are apparently too "high functioning" - yes I work to pay my mortgage etc. yes my lad is high acheiving in school - so we are doing ok? Personally I think all credit to our tenacity. Sometimes, often, I think that intelligence is subjective and it comes at a cost...Sealed

  • I think there is also SQ, or social intelligence, which is seperate from IQ, EQ, and KQ too.

    Now, these things are not entirely seperate, and there is some overlap, so, for example, as Silver says a weakness in the area of social and emotional intelligence can be masked somewhat by intellectual intelligence as one can learn, intellectually, to mimic the behaviours that are automatic and intuitive to those without those weaknesses.

    That is not to say that such learning is in any way easy, or that one can simply "think oneself out of it", particularly when, as Silver again says, one is in a hightened emotional state.

  • My social/emotional learning and empathy, due to my great age, is "artificially" higher because of what I have learned "intellectually" i.e. by consciously figuring out based on observations taken over a long period. When I was younger this was not so, so it was lower then. I can only do this when in a calm emotional state and it is limited, there are still many things I don't get. What NTs have is intuitive ability at social/emotional learning i.e. learning with the unconscious part of the brain and without conscious awareness. Their empathy is often poor in my opinion. 

    I have very little ability to control emotions even when on my own.  This is one of the things that is thrown at me - "You should be able to control your emotions."  I think NTs brains don't get absolutely flooded so they can have some ability to behave in an acceptable way even when their emotions are contrary to this, and so they expect others to do the same. As far as they are concerned this is a matter for disapproval. 

  • Maybe we should use KQ mapping,, Autism good at X, crap at Y.. accept Y, focus on X. Logical Wink

  • i think there is three types of intelligence,, IQ(general), EQ(emotional) and KQ(knowing),, knowing is,, say you are a rock scientist,, but don't know how to knit.., so a wee old woman shows you how, this old woman has a higher KQ on that specialism.

    Any IQ has nothing to do with Emotional intelligence.., this were I struggle, give me a functional non-social task, no problem, even if I have low KQ, I can learn it by my overall IQ learning capacity, but MY EQ is very low, but the upside is,, it pushes up my IQ because I SEEK to INTELLECT solutions to emotion issues and situation,, this strategy FAILS ! Hence my point is one of totally agreement with Silver and True. BUT IS WHY, BECAUSE WHEN NT'S SEE HIGH IQ,, they attribute it also to emotion quota(EQ).. which is totally wrong. But it is there fallacy, we must not get fooled by there pressure, as we know by autistic experience it does not work that way,, I WISH IT DID ! but I need to stop thinking that... it is not that easy.

    What can we do about this ? I really hate it,, I struggle like **** but the world thinks I am coping !!!! because I can talk intellectual *** !