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Holiday and travel

Clumsywitch

Hi. I’m about to go on my first holiday since 2019 and the first ever since knowing I have ASD. I’m really looking forward to a lot of it but not the actual process of getting there but strangely being diagnosed (very recently incidentally) has helped in some ways as I at least know now why I’ve always struggled with certain aspects. Anyway, I wanted to share some things about it in case anyone is planning on going anywhere.

I’m going on a cruise with Cunard that is sailing from Southampton and then I fly back from Vancouver. I’ve sailed with Cunard multiple times as I’ve found their ships to be perfect for me - there is plenty of space, nobody bothers me or thinks it odd that I’m travelling on my own, there are plenty of places to go if I need to get away from people or conversely if I want to be around others, there are really interesting guest speakers to listen to and classes to learn new skills if I want and there are plenty of choices of places to eat that mean I don’t have to worry about seeming to be different because there are some things I can’t bear to see/smell/eat etc. Best of all though is that I can visit lots of different places and not have to worry about getting to them or being stuck somewhere I don’t like or don’t feel comfortable. Some times I’ve been on a cruise that’s the same route and I don’t want to get off and nobody cares. I can stay on the ship and enjoy even more peace.

Cunard don’t have any dedicated hidden disability support but their assistance team have been fantastic this time for me; I will be met at the check-in and helped through the process and helped to get onboard as quickly and easily as possible, which is a huge help for me. It means I don’t have to wait in the big embarkation lounge with everyone or have to negotiate the queues for security etc.

At the other extreme are the companies that do offer assistance and not only have they not provided it, they haven’t even responded. My return flight is with Virgin Atlantic but operated by KLM and I’m having to get various trains both to Southampton and back from London after the flight. Virgin Atlantic massively advertise their assistance programme and how they are the only airline offering support for hidden disabilities and all these wonderful things they can do to help; what they don’t say is that they don’t respond to any form of contact so you can’t actually get any assistance. I first contacted them 5 weeks ago via their preferred on line form and then a further twice by email but have not even had an acknowledgement that they’ve received them, let alone any support. With flights, I particularly need to be able to choose my seat so I can plan everything and be prepared but even though my booking says I can choose my seat it won’t allow me to do so until 24hrs before the flight (something to do with it being booked and operated by 2 different companies as far as I can tell). This is a nightmare for me when I can see others selecting their seats - I could not manage if I ended up in the middle seat of a row of 3 between 2 people I don’t know for a 9.5hr flight, I just wouldn’t be able to do it and I worried that that was all that was going to be left at check in. Strangely though, if I pay for an upgrade I can select my seat now - does not seem at all fair but I’ve had to do it as it’s the only way I can manage.

Overall this is what I’ve found with the different companies that I requested assistance from 5 weeks ago:

LNER - no response
KLM customer services: no response
Virgin Atlantic: no response
Cunard: extremely helpful

If anyone has a flight and likes to work out where to sit that they’d feel the most comfortable with, I found this website -https://www.seatguru.com - which was really useful. You put the flight number and date of travel in and it gives you a seating plan and reviews on the seats from people who have sat in them; I was going to choose a particular one for my flight until I read a review that said there was an entertainment box under the seat in front which meant they couldn’t fit both of their feet in the space left and it was very incomfortable so I chose a different one.

  • Given the unpredictable nature of travel these days, I would never now attempt since my diagnosis just after Covid to travel any distance over 20 miles without a chaperone, having been stranded in Holyhead for 2 days during the train strike in early Oct 2022 that I’d been trying to avoid - short-haul flights between Ireland and the U.K. because of EU climate change rules are being banned by the Irish government and overnight coach fares have went up massively in price, so will train fares and also SailRail (train and ferry) tickets - even though I’d done it on my own for 20 years living in the U.K. before Covid, I’ve learned some very hard lessons the hard way even though all my family are in Ireland and I live alone in the U.K. 

  • Hey. I came across your post and wanted to share my thoughts on your upcoming trip. It sounds like you're really looking forward to it, but you also have some concerns about getting there. I'm glad to hear that Cunard has been helpful to you in the past and that you have had a positive experience with them. It's always a bummer when companies advertise assistance but fail to deliver, so I hope your experience with Virgin Atlantic improves.
    If you're looking for more information on cruises, [removed by mod] is a great resource for cruise planning. They have all sorts of info on different cruise lines, ships, and destinations. Maybe check it out and see if you can find any helpful tips for making the most of your trip.

  • in reply to AntonReed

    Thanks for the seatguru website. I have some issues and always need an aisle seat. Sometimes I had to quarrel to get the seat I wanted. When the plane is full, it’s like a nightmare for me. I can barely stand crowded places. That’s why I prefer traveling alone. Although it’s a bit dangerous for a girl to be on a trip alone,, thus, I feel comfortable. And I always check the information to see whether it’s safe to fly to the chosen area. I do it using online platforms. Nothing complicated. You just have to click on the name of the country/city you’re traveling to and get the safety index and the current dangers. 

  • Always struggle with the same. Thanks for sharing!

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