Earliest Memory

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?


Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents
  • I have an early memory of nursery school; I have no memory of the other children however I remember the nursery teacher had placed me on her knee, facing away from her and was 'tickling' my sides. It felt like she had sharp metal claws on the end of her fingers. I remember having a complete meltdown about it and screaming my head off. I distinctly remember her saying to me something along the lines of 'for goodness sake, I was only tickling you!).

    My next memory is of me sitting in a room with my Mum and presumably the head of the nursery. I don't remember what was said but my Mum subsequently never sent me back there. Not sure if that was the nursery's decision or my Mum's though. I have never been comfortable about being touched.

    A happier early memory is of sitting on a local beach stuffing my face with cake when I was maybe 2 years old. I vividly remember my Mum saying to my Dad, 'quick, get the camera'. I still have that picture. It makes me smile looking at it.

  • Oh dear! When I was younger I didn't mind being tickled, but after a certain point, I would find it unbearable and start crying because it would almost feel like a form of torture. I'm guessing the nursery teacher had long fingernails for them to have felt like sharp metal claws?

    Your happy memory sounds wonderful, and I'm glad it makes you smile. It made me smile too. Relaxed

  • like sharp metal claws?

    painted red, manager at my previous job had something like that, 

    I take it as a warning sign now

    after a month of everyday 15min long following me when I was trying to work and nagging ''assistant manager is a nice person'', over and over, and over, she made me go meltdown in a middle of a shopping floor, and next day I had disciplinary for being disrespectful to her. alll I did (except it wasn't me) was running around the pallet and shouting ''I believe you'' over and over for at least a minute, so I probably repeated it 1000 times.

    and she smiles like alien opening outer jaw and moving inner jaw out to bite by stretching lips out so much you can see gumline around her teeth

    I'm still having nightmares about it over a year later

Reply
  • like sharp metal claws?

    painted red, manager at my previous job had something like that, 

    I take it as a warning sign now

    after a month of everyday 15min long following me when I was trying to work and nagging ''assistant manager is a nice person'', over and over, and over, she made me go meltdown in a middle of a shopping floor, and next day I had disciplinary for being disrespectful to her. alll I did (except it wasn't me) was running around the pallet and shouting ''I believe you'' over and over for at least a minute, so I probably repeated it 1000 times.

    and she smiles like alien opening outer jaw and moving inner jaw out to bite by stretching lips out so much you can see gumline around her teeth

    I'm still having nightmares about it over a year later

Children
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