Earliest Memory

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?


Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents
  • Thinking about 'I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood...' I wonder if as much as anything it's that we might have more capacity for recalling not events themselves so much as the inner thought processes and emotional processing/interiority that went along with them.Or even spontaneously manifested out of an already rich inner life.I can for instance recall - again aged 3 or 4- the first instance of experiencing an earworm (tune remaining stuck in one's head and going in a loop) and a kind of detached curiosity as I walked to play-school about the fact that it was still going round in my brain from the night before despite having slept in between. The piece of music in question was Heartsong by Gordon Giltrap, aka (as I would have vaguely known it then) the theme tune to Holiday 1980/81 - a staple of the BBC in those days. Anyway, I still have a fairly vivid recall of that outwardly unremarkable/unobservable/invisible bit of discovering that the mind could do that. Autistic people are a bit more in their heads from early on I suppose, so holding onto a 'recording' of a subtle but importantly nuanced bit of early inner life might be, for us, as likely as doing so for an external event and the resultaant reactive/associated thoughts and feelings. Maybe? 

  • In case you missed this

    typically autistic people can access earlier memories than NTs due to differences in the way that we store our memories

    One of the earworms I often have is of the BBC Ski Sunday theme tune Pop Looks Bach. Having listened to Heartsong by Gordon Giltrap, it is unfamiliar to me. However, this may well be because money was tight, and my parents had no desire to be reminded of holidays they could only dream of... I should add that they made up for it later in life. Slight smile

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  • In case you missed this

    typically autistic people can access earlier memories than NTs due to differences in the way that we store our memories

    One of the earworms I often have is of the BBC Ski Sunday theme tune Pop Looks Bach. Having listened to Heartsong by Gordon Giltrap, it is unfamiliar to me. However, this may well be because money was tight, and my parents had no desire to be reminded of holidays they could only dream of... I should add that they made up for it later in life. Slight smile

Children