Earliest Memory

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?


Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents
  • A lot of my early memories are muddled by my epilepsy - that's what caused the traumas I remember! The ones caused by Autism are a floaty patch of confusion as social stuff just baffled me. However, I do remember one incident as a teenager which was classic Autism, looking back on it. One of the people at the youth club I went to, who I was fairly friendly with, and quite liked, got into a horrible car crash which was almost fatal. He was in hospital for weeks, and it was a big thing when he came back to the youth club. Everyone else made a huge fuss over him, I was "Hey Greg, how's it going", and I didn't ask one thing about the crash. He was overjoyed and told me I was the only person not to have asked him how he was.....I felt terrible, because I DID care, but he was quite relieved!

Reply
  • A lot of my early memories are muddled by my epilepsy - that's what caused the traumas I remember! The ones caused by Autism are a floaty patch of confusion as social stuff just baffled me. However, I do remember one incident as a teenager which was classic Autism, looking back on it. One of the people at the youth club I went to, who I was fairly friendly with, and quite liked, got into a horrible car crash which was almost fatal. He was in hospital for weeks, and it was a big thing when he came back to the youth club. Everyone else made a huge fuss over him, I was "Hey Greg, how's it going", and I didn't ask one thing about the crash. He was overjoyed and told me I was the only person not to have asked him how he was.....I felt terrible, because I DID care, but he was quite relieved!

Children
  • Hello Libris Vexed, and thank you for sharing that.

    I can understand why you felt terrible for being the only person that hadn't asked how 'Greg' was, but I can also understand why he had felt so relieved that you hadn't. I imagine that with lots of people making a fuss and presumably enquiring as to how he was recovering, it would have felt like a constant reminder of what must undoubtedly have been a highly traumatic experience for him.