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Earliest Memory

Sporadic Sparkly

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?

Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents

  • I remember sitting on father chrismas' lap when I was about 6. It was in school, I remember everyone in the room was looking at me odd, my mum and my sister chief amongst them. I wasn't comfortable, and everyone could tell that.  I squirmed, something I didn't understand was making me so uncomfortable, and while being sat there, on his lap, my mum starts complaining and berating, as usual, because I won't sit still. I was always the child 'who made the most fuss, and as such, no matter what I said, it was always just some ploy to get attention, or something else nefarious. There was no way I could just be asking for help, or that something could genuinely wrong.

    I only discovered what had made me so uncomfortable when I was a teenager, and I had my first dose of sexual education in school. It turns out, father chrismas had an erection, and while he had his hands on me, he was pushing his *** into my ***. 

    But fussy/annoying children apparently deserve a good telling off, even if they're being mildly sexually assaulted. No matter what hardship's been thrown our way, family will always find a way to blame me for it.

Reply

  • I remember sitting on father chrismas' lap when I was about 6. It was in school, I remember everyone in the room was looking at me odd, my mum and my sister chief amongst them. I wasn't comfortable, and everyone could tell that.  I squirmed, something I didn't understand was making me so uncomfortable, and while being sat there, on his lap, my mum starts complaining and berating, as usual, because I won't sit still. I was always the child 'who made the most fuss, and as such, no matter what I said, it was always just some ploy to get attention, or something else nefarious. There was no way I could just be asking for help, or that something could genuinely wrong.

    I only discovered what had made me so uncomfortable when I was a teenager, and I had my first dose of sexual education in school. It turns out, father chrismas had an erection, and while he had his hands on me, he was pushing his *** into my ***. 

    But fussy/annoying children apparently deserve a good telling off, even if they're being mildly sexually assaulted. No matter what hardship's been thrown our way, family will always find a way to blame me for it.

Children