Earliest Memory

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?


Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents
  • Mine is of my first day at nursery. Remember this really well. Mum and me were stood at the door and I was holding on to mums legs for dear life screaming and crying because I didn't want her to leavStar me. I remember mum telling me it would be so much fun and wouldn't be long before I saw her again. I just cried and screamed. Eventually mum calmed me down and I stayed and the nursery teacher gave Stare a sticker for being a star Star

Reply
  • Mine is of my first day at nursery. Remember this really well. Mum and me were stood at the door and I was holding on to mums legs for dear life screaming and crying because I didn't want her to leavStar me. I remember mum telling me it would be so much fun and wouldn't be long before I saw her again. I just cried and screamed. Eventually mum calmed me down and I stayed and the nursery teacher gave Stare a sticker for being a star Star

Children
  • Thank you Eve for sharing that memory of your first day at nursery.

    Your experience sounds similiar to my first day at nursery. The only difference being that you calmed down and got a sticker. My mother ended up staying with me at nursery for the whole of the first term, which was not her idea of fun at all. Eventually, the nursery staff decided that perhaps it was more of a hindrance than a help for my mother to stay with me. Apparently, they distracted me and told my mother to leave when I wasn't looking. As soon as I realised she had gone, I screamed the place down and had been very cross with her for 'abandoning' me when she later returned to collect me. I had genuinely thought that I was never going to see her again.