Earliest Memory

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?


Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents
  • Hi SparklingAutistic,

    I have a number of early childhood memories, (I’m almost 22 now, in case that’s helpful context.)

    Between age 2-3.5ish, I spent lots of time in hospital. I vividly remember the sickly smell of the mask they made me wear - think it was an anaesthetic mask but can’t be sure. The gas made me feel very lightheaded, the feeling of the tight rubber mask on my face made me feel very confined. Apparently I would scream, ‘Not the mask, not the mask!’ But the nurses said it wasn’t unusual for children to hate those awful so I don’t know if this counts as meltdown territory.

    Maybe we on the spectrum are more likely to remember things in detail from a long time ago - hmm, interesting Slight smileP.s. Thank you for taking the plunge with starting a discussion!

Reply
  • Hi SparklingAutistic,

    I have a number of early childhood memories, (I’m almost 22 now, in case that’s helpful context.)

    Between age 2-3.5ish, I spent lots of time in hospital. I vividly remember the sickly smell of the mask they made me wear - think it was an anaesthetic mask but can’t be sure. The gas made me feel very lightheaded, the feeling of the tight rubber mask on my face made me feel very confined. Apparently I would scream, ‘Not the mask, not the mask!’ But the nurses said it wasn’t unusual for children to hate those awful so I don’t know if this counts as meltdown territory.

    Maybe we on the spectrum are more likely to remember things in detail from a long time ago - hmm, interesting Slight smileP.s. Thank you for taking the plunge with starting a discussion!

Children
  • Thank you sphynx for sharing your early childhood memories, even though they were clearly traumatic for you.

    When I was a young child, I had what was referred to as a lazy left eye. I wore glasses, and for a time I had to wear a patch (a large plaster) over my right eye, which I hated because I didn't like the sensation of it on my skin. I was also required to attend regular appointments at an eye hospital, which I also didn't like. I was (and am still not) a fan of hospitals. Whilst I understand the need for them to be super-clean and sterile and would be horrified if they weren't, I find the antiseptic odours off-putting.

    I now find myself wondering if the trauma might be the reason why we remember these very early childhood events so vividly, rather than because we are on the Spectrum.