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Earliest Memory

Sporadic Sparkly

Having now been a member of the NAS Community for approximately a fortnight, I thought it was about time I got around to starting a discussion, as opposed to simply commenting on discussions started by other members.

The following is an event that happened more than 40 years ago (before anyone knew I was autistic), which I remember in full technicolour glory...

As I had no siblings, my mother had been keen to socialise me with other children before I started nursery school, so had taken me to a playgroup. I guess this means that I would have been aged about 3 or 4 years old.

The playgroup was in a room at the town's rugby club, and the rugby club was located in the town's large park, where there was also a leisure centre and outdoor ski slope.

I remember walking into this room (the playgroup), and my senses being hit by an overwhelming and unpleasant smell of plasticine, along with other smells/odours that I considered equally as unpleasant.

Some of the children were playing together, whilst others were playing on their own. My mother was keen for me to join them, but I didn't want to and refused to leave her side. The more she and the playgroup staff attempted to persuade me to join the other children, the more I protested and insisted that I wanted to be taken back home. Being in this strange and unfamiliar environment was just too traumatic for me. In hindsight, I guess I'd displayed all the hallmarks of an autistic meltdown.

Fortunately (for me), I had caused my mother so much stress that day that she never attempted to take me back to that playgroup.

If you are on the spectrum, do you have any vivid memories of early childhood?

Edited to add: I thought I would ask this question because I sometimes wonder if those of us who are on the Spectrum are better at remembering events from our early childhood.

Also, if your memories are traumatic, please don't feel obliged to share them unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Parents

  • I have a choice of three early memories, I don't know which is earliest.  All three are full of pain.

    1. Saturday morning family, outings, shopping in the city centre.  My mother dragging everyone into her shoe shopping obsession.  At that time there were many small independent shoe shops.  These shops were small, cramped and had this very distinctive smell. I absolutely hated being in these shops, the smell, lack of fresh air, I almost suffocated.  The shops had only one shoe of each type on display, the shop assistant had to go into the stores to get the the other shoe and the right size. I hated the waiting.  My mother really enjoyed this waiting, the personal service, having the shoe fitted onto her foot, walking about trying the shoes on.  For me it was half an hour of absolute hell.  Finally we were outside in the fresh air.  And then into a neighbouring shoe shop and the whole process started again.  To add insult to injury, she never bought these shoes because they were far too expensive.
Reply

  • I have a choice of three early memories, I don't know which is earliest.  All three are full of pain.

    1. Saturday morning family, outings, shopping in the city centre.  My mother dragging everyone into her shoe shopping obsession.  At that time there were many small independent shoe shops.  These shops were small, cramped and had this very distinctive smell. I absolutely hated being in these shops, the smell, lack of fresh air, I almost suffocated.  The shops had only one shoe of each type on display, the shop assistant had to go into the stores to get the the other shoe and the right size. I hated the waiting.  My mother really enjoyed this waiting, the personal service, having the shoe fitted onto her foot, walking about trying the shoes on.  For me it was half an hour of absolute hell.  Finally we were outside in the fresh air.  And then into a neighbouring shoe shop and the whole process started again.  To add insult to injury, she never bought these shoes because they were far too expensive.
Children
  • in reply to Robert124

    I am sorry that your earliest memories are full of pain.

    The frequent Saturday morning visits to shoe shops sounds like my idea of a nightmare.

    I remember some years ago a friend had required an item of clothing for work, and had insisted on me accompanying her to an out-of-town shopping centre. Instead of buying the first thing she liked, she insisted on us visiting every clothing store, just in case there was something she liked better. We were there for absolutely hours. Definitely not my idea of a fun day out.