Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
The thread is about people making light of autism such as by saying "we are all on the spectrum".
I may have been hasty, but my reactions were more to do with the content. The poster may not have realised there's a minimum age limit and there just wouldn't be a child on here making that statement. But I did find it hard, in the context of what is often said by professionals and public alike, seeing prases like:
"As you get older, vacuous things become - well, more vacuous". Probably not for people on the autistic spectrum for reasons explained.
"you will get your day when you get a bit older" - again reflects the general misunderstanding about autism/aspergers being something you grow out of.
I agree that using Neuro-typical to refer to attitudes of people who don't seem to understand autism properly is a bit strong at times. There are other posts putting stronger.
I understand the poster intended to be helpful and not patronising and condescending, and I apologise for any hurt caused.
Most of my response addressed the issues here. While children sometimes flourish in early teens, and all things willing go on to get better, many don't, either through a crisis, or encountering new setbacks.
There is a lot of misunderstanding of autism, and for the sake of young people growing up, as well as adults trying to survive, we need to do everything possible to get the right information out front.