Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
I was responding to Scorpion0x17's comments, 280JJ, not making a desperate appeal for help. Your profile is new, less than 9 hours as I write this, and I do not know if you are a person with autism, or a parent of a person with autism, or perhaps neither.
I'm 62, retired from education, with asperger's but also many years helping people with asperger's. Things get more vaccuus my lovely if your brain slows down making connections once you are in your twenties, which is why NTs tend to become more fixed in their ways, and their "edges knocked off". The FACT is that people with autism don't slow down on making connections, they have to work harder on social processes, and they continue to have great difficulties because they cannot adjust properly socially. Hence my first paragraph.
The point in my second and third paragraphs is that children and teens on the spectrum don't generally mix socially and therefore do not partake adequately in these developmental stages which has adverse effects for life.
We all hope these discussion threads help others. This is a discussion forum about people with autism and those who care for them.
Perhaps you could elaborate on your standpoint, given you have demonstrated a characteristically neurotypical perspective that shows no understanding of autism.