Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
Stonechat said:As I understand it our brains are made differently - with many more connections than an NT brain.So there is a fundamental difference there, which does make our brains operate in a different way to an NT brain.
So there is a fundamental difference there, which does make our brains operate in a different way to an NT brain.
Two points about this:
1. It is not the simply the case that our brains have "many more connections than an NT brain". There is evidence that some people on the spectrum have hyper-connectivity in some areas of the brain. There is also evidence that some people on the spectrum have hypo-connectivity in some areas of the brain. It is not as simple as "all people on the autistic spectrum have hyper-connectivity and all NTs don't" - I've not seen any information on it, but I suspect that many NTs have both hyper- and hypo-connectivity as well.
2. Saying that hyper- and/or hypo-connectivity is a "fundamental difference" is just plain wrong. All humans start life with a massively hyper-connected brain, and a combination of experience and genetics pairs these connections away as we develop to differing degress in each and every individual. The resultant degree of connectivity between the different areas of the adult brain, thereby varies greatly between individuals both Autsitic and not.
This is like saying that straight-2 engine is fundamentally different to a V-8 - it is not, one has 2 cylinders aligned in the same direction, the other has 8 cylinders arranged in two banks of 4 that are aligned in a V formation. They are both internal combustion engines, and both use the same fundemental physical and chemical processes to work. The only difference is the positioning and number of the engine's cylinders. Such a difference is difference of degree not of type or nature.
Yes, our brains are wired differently to NTs, but that is not the same as saying our brains are fundamentally different to an NTs brains. We don't have any extra circuits, and neither do NTs. We do have differing degrees of connectivity between those circuits, but we each, within the Autistic spectrum, have differing degress of connectivity between those circuits also!
In other words, we are as alike and different to each other, as we are to everyone else (i.e. NTs) and the same can be said about them!
Don't make the mistake of assuming that your perception of your difference to others in any way reflects the true nature of that difference, because, quite frankly, it almost certainly does not.
(And, yes, that last sentence applies equally to me - because I do also feel fundamentally different, but a study of the facts has shown me that I am not)