Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
The manifestations of autism are very varied. This is partly because there are a number of ways we can be affected, and everyone seems to have a different mix of these components. Some are more environmentally sensitive, some have more marked executive function issues, some have more marked motor control issues.
Moreover these components interact. They affect each other. And most people have one or more comorbid condition such as OCD, dyslexia, ADHD.
And then on top of that there is personality - the characteristics of an individual, aside from those down to autism, which affect the way the autism acts on an individual. This particularly shows in the degree to which people on the spectrum need support or strive to be independent.
As someone diagnosed at the manageable end of Aspergers Syndrome, I'm conscious I may have perceptions that don't apply to others, because maybe I'm having it easier, and maybe there's symptoms I don't have to as great a degree as I think I do.
But I think it is likely that some people experience a very real sense of difference from NTs because that's probably the case. While others may perceive themselves removed from NTs by degrees, because it is easier for those people to see their autism as just more limiting versions of problems NTs experience.
Scorpion0x17 may be right from his perception that he is different by degree not by nature. Personally I am more inclined to True Colors view of things, as I do feel radically different, even if in a milder form than most.
Maybe I need to revisit my view of the spectrum by saying that relating to the spectrum works for some, but I think it neither helps nor defines many others.