Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
Hope said:I know there is something radically different in the way I experience the world, and this has led to a profound feeling of alienation. When I found out I have Aspergers, I could at a last conceptualise this difference as something physical and neurological - a concrete disability that sets me apart from the 'norm'. People without my condition, who have not gone through this feeling of radical disconnection and exclusion, should not make light of it by suggesting that we are all 'on the spectrum'.
I know there is something radically different in the way I experience the world, and this has led to a profound feeling of alienation. When I found out I have Aspergers, I could at a last conceptualise this difference as something physical and neurological - a concrete disability that sets me apart from the 'norm'. People without my condition, who have not gone through this feeling of radical disconnection and exclusion, should not make light of it by suggesting that we are all 'on the spectrum'.
Different, yes.
Radically different? I don't think so.
Before I was diagnosed I read a lot about how the mind works, how we, as human being work, trying to work out how or why I seemed to be different to everybody else.
Because I too had that profound feeling of alienation.
But, the thing that I kept on hitting up against was that essentially I am no different, I just have some hightened senses, some damped down senses, I am more logical, I notice the details more than the larger picture, and I'm not so great at sociallising.
In short, I do everything that NTs do, and NTs do everything I do, just to different extents. I am different, yes. But not abnormal.
So, I think we are different by degree, not by nature.