Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
I've heard "spectrum" used in a similarly derogatory fashion.
It is now unlawful(? - or just 'not done these days') to use disability references as a casual insult. But "spectrum" can be used because, by definition, everyone is on this spectrum, and it just means weird or eccentric. Saying someone is on the spectrum in a reference, probably wouldn't constitute misconduct.
So, I guess, its quite OK for a woman to use "spectrum" as a derogatory reference to all men (possibly she's had bad experiences), but she would be frowned upon if she used "autistic".
As I say, the use of the term "spectrum" has become "a rod for our own backs". It doesn't define the impact of the disability because it is a vague generalistic term that suits scientists.
Part of the problem lies in the emphasis on finding a cure rather than addressing and improving lifestyles for those on the spectrum. Finding a cure gets in money. Improved lifestyle doesn't. The research centre or company that comes up with a cure for autism will make billions of pounds for themselves and their backers. Those who do something to improve lifestyle will struggle on low funds and obscurity. Making peoples lives better is "small beer" (cute metaphor for the watered down variety).
We've ended up with a culture that believes that so much therapy or medication will cure, or that somehow with many hours of Social Stories you'll "grow out of it". Or that if you try harder and copy a few things NTs do, somehow you'll wake up one morning and find it was all a bad dream.
Until scientists take autism seriously there will be little progress. So lets review what calling it a "spectrum" is doing to help or hinder progress.