Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I've been feeling really low lately and something that hasn't helped is the subject matter of a class debate we had the other day. We began to talk about autism and Asperger's Syndrome, and this popular girl who has no communication or social difficulties whatsoever (in fact one of her many gifts is that she makes everyone love her) says, "Everyone's on the spectrum, it's just to what extent. My cousins are autistic, so I know."
And...I know we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. And it's not like that was the first time I had ever heard this theory, and to be quite honest, I'm not the most severely Asperger's person in the world. In fact, you'd probably say I had it quite mildly - particularly if you were an adult meeting me, as adults seem to bring out the best in me in a way that my peers can't. But when I saw her sitting there and just saying that, surrounded by all her friends kissing up to her and agreeing with her, whilst she'd just been going on about the party she was off to the next day, and the gig she was going to soon with another girl on our table, I just wanted to say, "OK. So you believe everyone's got autism. You try living a day in my life - seeing everyone make friends around you whilst you're left completely alone, no matter how hard you try. You try knowing you're different ever since you're old enough to think, and then tell me everyone's on the spectrum, because I think you might feel differently then. You've got no idea how lucky you are! I'd give anything to be accepted and supported by everyone like you are."
Now, I know she doesn't mean that everyone is autistic or AS to the point of diagnosis. She just means that we've all got little tendencies here and there. But, though I wouldn't say it to her or any of the kids at school as it makes me sound like I'm just making trouble or feeling sorry for myself or using any excuse to have a big, dramatic, overemotional reaction, I found it really difficult to hear that from her, and in my personal opinion it's actually quite an insensitive thing to say to/in front of someone with any form of autism. (She does know I have AS, and she says she believes it's true but I don't think she does - none of the others do.)
Am I being out of order?
Thanks for reading,
Liv x
Many people have some elements of dyslexia, and most people would find themselves in a situation where they appeared at one point to have dyslexia. We never get this fuss over dyslexia (or maybe someone can tell me otherwise).
I do think though that Liv was probably being teased, and being on the spectrum means we cannot always read the signs between serious discourse and teasing.
I accept that the spectrum is a continuum, but its not linear and its multiparameter. So yes you can say everyone has touches of it. But the progression is different for different characteristics. Some people with quite marked behavioural difficulties are confident socialisers; others who do not show outward signs are very markedly affected socially.
I think therefore the repost could be great, if you think its a gradual scale - but it isn't. You'd know if you really had it.