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Should people with Aspergers or others on the autistic spectrum have children?

NAS78513

I've got it mildly (officially anyway, I think I might have been wrongly diagnosed, but that's a different story) and it's only got better as I've got older (some experts do think that it can actually go away as you get older, but again, another story). Even so, it has caused me some problems, especially when I was younger. I have no doubt that my life would've been easier without it. Anyway, I sort of want children but sort of don't, for a few reasons, one of which would be giving it to them (if I've got it, perhaps I'm just a little odd lol). What are the chances that they'd get it, and (this is a bit controversial I know) do you think people with it who have children are selfish? It can and does cause an awful lot of misery.

Parents

  • I mean, whichever way you argue it, having children is an inherently selfish choice that cannot be morally justified. 

    (As in, none of us asked to be born. There is no reason to have a child that doesn't involve I want. You can choose to have a child, but not who that child will be. The child cannot choose to be born, or when, or where, or to whom, or the people who will raise it. Etc.)

    Bearing that in mind, autistic people aren't born into suffering. We don't suffer from a disability (medical model); we suffer in situations that dis-able us (social model).

    The question for any prospective parent is whether or not you'll have the fortitude and the resources to create a suitable environment for your child, in defiance of a world that may choose not to make a space for them. 

    Anyone that chooses to create a life is, in a way, playing G-d. You have to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will be able to take care of your creation. Even if they're autistic. Even if they're disabled in ways you weren't expecting. Even if they are nothing like the person you expected them to be. 

    In short, having kids is not the default. Don't do it if it's not your personal dream to be a full-time carer for 20-odd years, regardless of whether the person you make has an officially recognised disability. 

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  • I mean, whichever way you argue it, having children is an inherently selfish choice that cannot be morally justified. 

    (As in, none of us asked to be born. There is no reason to have a child that doesn't involve I want. You can choose to have a child, but not who that child will be. The child cannot choose to be born, or when, or where, or to whom, or the people who will raise it. Etc.)

    Bearing that in mind, autistic people aren't born into suffering. We don't suffer from a disability (medical model); we suffer in situations that dis-able us (social model).

    The question for any prospective parent is whether or not you'll have the fortitude and the resources to create a suitable environment for your child, in defiance of a world that may choose not to make a space for them. 

    Anyone that chooses to create a life is, in a way, playing G-d. You have to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will be able to take care of your creation. Even if they're autistic. Even if they're disabled in ways you weren't expecting. Even if they are nothing like the person you expected them to be. 

    In short, having kids is not the default. Don't do it if it's not your personal dream to be a full-time carer for 20-odd years, regardless of whether the person you make has an officially recognised disability. 

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