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Should people with Aspergers or others on the autistic spectrum have children?

NAS78513

I've got it mildly (officially anyway, I think I might have been wrongly diagnosed, but that's a different story) and it's only got better as I've got older (some experts do think that it can actually go away as you get older, but again, another story). Even so, it has caused me some problems, especially when I was younger. I have no doubt that my life would've been easier without it. Anyway, I sort of want children but sort of don't, for a few reasons, one of which would be giving it to them (if I've got it, perhaps I'm just a little odd lol). What are the chances that they'd get it, and (this is a bit controversial I know) do you think people with it who have children are selfish? It can and does cause an awful lot of misery.

Parents

  • Hi! Me and my mom are both diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Unfortunately, we were diagnosed as adults, I was 18 and she was in her forties. As a result, we both unknowingly struggled with autism-related issues growing up.

    Even in adulthood, my mom and I still struggle with executive functioning. Basic repetitive tasks, like doing the dishes or cleaning my room, are a nightmare. My mom is convinced that many fights and discussions could have been avoided if we had a basic understanding of our executive functioning disorder. She wishes we would have learned adaptive strategies in our childhood, to limit our struggle.

    Since you are consciously debating having children, I assume you will be able to notice the signs of autism at an early stage. Aid can be sought early on and professionals can provide coping mechanisms and other tools that can help your child for the rest of their life.

    Know that you don't have to be alone in the process and that it is okey to find help. There is no shame in looking for a therapist or asking your child's future school for additional measures. In my case, this was the most helpful. I see a psychologist regularly and my university is flexible in terms of exam location and duration or wearing soundproofing headphones.

    It is certainly not selfish to have a desire to have children whilst being on the spectrum. This is human nature. Nonetheless, it is important to be aware of the consequences a life with ASS can have. It seems like you are. And remember that there are many professionals, but also support groups and forums like this one, that are willing to help you along the way.

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  • Hi! Me and my mom are both diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Unfortunately, we were diagnosed as adults, I was 18 and she was in her forties. As a result, we both unknowingly struggled with autism-related issues growing up.

    Even in adulthood, my mom and I still struggle with executive functioning. Basic repetitive tasks, like doing the dishes or cleaning my room, are a nightmare. My mom is convinced that many fights and discussions could have been avoided if we had a basic understanding of our executive functioning disorder. She wishes we would have learned adaptive strategies in our childhood, to limit our struggle.

    Since you are consciously debating having children, I assume you will be able to notice the signs of autism at an early stage. Aid can be sought early on and professionals can provide coping mechanisms and other tools that can help your child for the rest of their life.

    Know that you don't have to be alone in the process and that it is okey to find help. There is no shame in looking for a therapist or asking your child's future school for additional measures. In my case, this was the most helpful. I see a psychologist regularly and my university is flexible in terms of exam location and duration or wearing soundproofing headphones.

    It is certainly not selfish to have a desire to have children whilst being on the spectrum. This is human nature. Nonetheless, it is important to be aware of the consequences a life with ASS can have. It seems like you are. And remember that there are many professionals, but also support groups and forums like this one, that are willing to help you along the way.

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