How do I get undiagnosed with Asperger's?

You are quite misinformed. A private diagnosis from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist is just as relevant and official as one on the NHS. Most of these private doctors also work part time for the NHS. These diagnoses can be used to obtain help and support in education, as well as benefits if they are required. Nothing can be diagnosed without all the precise criteria being met. If there was any doubt, that person would not get a diagnosis. The only difference is, a private diagnosis is often faster.

I’m autistic, I have friends.. I’m confused.. 

People with ASD can and do have friends. Hell, I was in pubs and clubs and all sorts until my late twenties. I’ve had friends. I’ve been married, I’ve had relationships, I’ve been an entrepreneur for years and had many successful businesses. None of that means I can’t also be Autistic. 

Hahaha True!

Dr Tony Attwood in 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' describes a patient diagnosed as a child whom he later undiagnosed. Apparently, it can be done. Attwood re-assessed the patient and found that he no longer exhibited autistic features to the extent that a diagnosis was warranted, he had become sub-clinical. 

The only way to be 'undiagnosed' really would be if the original assessment was genuinely in error. And that, I assume, would take another assessment to establish.

We are after all either autistic or not. And if you are, you can't change that.

That said the advice below about the army considering applicants on a case by case basis is good. There are autistic qualities you might have which are of use in some army roles

On the subject of friends and relationships...we are all different. I have both. Socially gauche as I am, my autism never stopped me having relationships. For some of us it's a matter of brain over interoception to work out what we feel, or brain over the ability to intuit what others feel. Ok an with an occasional apology here and there when I stuck my size 6s in it, or didn't follow the conversational thread, lol. But, we can and do have friends, you know. 

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thats a big oof then.... how did you get diagnosed? most fail a autism diagnosis if they have any friends or even have a job lol .... if its a private one it doesnt matter, private diagnosis doesnt count and never goes on medical records and no one takes them seriously as any private company can just be paid to hand out these diagnosis as if the person going for diagnosis is seen as wanting to buy it rather than wanting to know whether they could have it. so i wouldnt worry if it was private diagnosis, only if its official NHS one. and most official ones generally seem to fail you on them if you have any sort of friend or job from what i see from other peoples expeirences, then they go to private and pay thousands to be given a positive diagnosis they wanted lol

possibly, if you can prove they made a mistake... could be harder getting undiagnosed than diagnosed as i doubt they want to admit mistakes right? once they diagnose you theyd probably not want you refuting it as they are the doctor and know better in their eyes. doctors dont always listen, you need a really good one that is open.... or perhaps a private one... but a NHS one? ... nah they will be like a closed book, a brick wall, and they wont wanna spend any more time on the issue and will brush you off. unless as i said its a decent doctor, which is quite rare in the NHS. and ofcourse theres the problem that if they undiagnose it they will instead shift the diagnosis to something else, like bipolar or ADHD or something (and boy oh boy do they LOOOVE handing out the ADHD label to absolutely everyone on the planet)

I get it. My father is undiagnosed but married twice and still married to his second wife. He claims to be an extrovert. He builds computers to deal with things which go to the moon or uranium or super collider stuff. Some men get a free pass socially. They're interesting enough to overlook the fact that they've missed social cues. Or they come from good families who taught them fundamental morals and they exude that. 

I learned amazing practical ways to build and establish relationships and to create healthy boundaries and choose the friends I want. Some people think I'm eccentric but I fall back on good principles. It's only recently my best friend and I had a conversation where we realised there was a stark difference between our socialising. While she can recognise seemingly invisible cues, she despises the power struggles and just refuses to play along. She's shunned occasionally but doesn't really care. I, on the other hand, don't catch most cues and only have language to work with, but spending years working on integrating my internal and external self and not having taken to the shame-guilt coding of neurotypical society, don't always respond correct though I'd like to play along and don't just get shunned. Women get mean - angry. Almost vengeful. My friend experienced it with me a few times in different situations and it's always puzzled her. But I appear quite liberated and it, frankly, enrages certain highly competitive females. [shrug]. Blessing? Curse? 

That's my autistic wiring. We're human, so we're all different. Most Neurotypical individuals can appear to have the same traits too, but they're not the same. 

I do have a couple of the symptoms, but I think that the ones I don't are more telling. For example I'm not socially awkward, I always had lots of friends at school, whereas others with Aspergers tended to have few, if any. I'm not Casanova by any means, but I've had a few girlfriends, whereas some people I know with Aspergers always struggled in that department and a few are still virgins at 30.

There are a few particular markers that make us autistic and it's good to have a diagnostic if so. On a high note, tons of tech companies prefer autistic employees. Because of certain ways we naturally think, perceive and reason, we are more loyal, more honest. If we are diligent and disciplined and vigilant, we can tap a natural authenticity, apply ethics and be Very Dependable Humans with a solid integrity. We are not necessarily wired for competition but cooperation. That doesn't mean we won't fight, it means we don't play games. We naturally see through games. In fact, we might be fierce about protecting what we love. Monotropism is a marker. Sensory issues can be markers. And missing social cues. We also might see details better and seemingly invisible 'systems'.

This is one of my favourite bloggers: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ

I also like this psychologist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpitsA-0pBQ 

But if none of this feels like you, then yes. Perhaps you were misdiagnosed. 

I'm not socially awkward though, I have friends.

I'm pretty sure you can, they must make mistakes and falsely diagnose people now and again. I think the only way that they could be sure is to do a brain scan or something.

plus if you have autistic traits it doesnt matter if your diagnosed or not..... they rejected me and im not diagnosed.... the interview is like a interrogation of your life and your personality... they will find your autistic traits even if your not diagnosed, and reject you for them. they pointed out my social awkwardness and my lack of freinds or a social life or any type of life and they rejected me saying that was suspicious to them.... so it doesnt matter if your diagnosed or not, they will find your traits without a diagnosis and reject you for them. they dont care for labels, they will find the faults without the label being there and those faults they consider bad for a combat team and a weak link they cannot allow. their team needs to be hyper social and prove they can become as one.

not sure you can, due to the fact they say theres no cure and its lifelong... how will you explain that to get undiagnosed? that you magically found a cure? theyd want you to explain the cure and trademark it and give you a nobel peace price first lol

I don't act autistic, lol. I've only got a very mild case and it's only got better since I got older, it really doesn't affect me at all. I seem totally normal, people would be shocked if I told them. If I've even got it that is, like I say, they were pretty convinced I didn't have it at one stage. I've done a lot of research myself and I don't think I've got it. They do make mistakes.

dude, if you don’t want to be autistic. Just stop 

so youre 24 and no longer want to be known as autistic, so in reality,. You get a new job and you act autistic.. people will brand you something else.. you can’t exactly start saying I used to be autistic. The army will assess you.

Helpful answer, thanks. Interesting that they now let some people with it join up. I thought that it'd be a long and difficult process so I'm not surprised by what you told me, but still I think I'll give it a try. Hopefully the fact that they were saying that I might not have it (I was only young so don't remember much, but they were at one point saying that I probably didn't have it, although the diagnosis remained unchanged) will help my case.

I did a quick Google search and found that apparently in 2017 there were 231 regular serving personnel and 32 reservists in the UK armed forces who had an autism or Asperger's diagnosis on their medical record. Additionally in 2018 the military updated its standards to allow for more discretion on a case-by-case basis concerning certain medical conditions. In other words an Asperger's diagnosis doesn't outright bar you from military service and they can assess you on a case-by-case basis instead.

When you apply to join the army if they query your diagnosis you can explain that you believe you may have been misdiagnosed and that regardless the diagnosis will not affect your capacity to serve. Ask them to assess you on the basis of your individual capabilities instead.

I would think the only way really rectify a diagnosis is to get reassessed (unless you think that the old diagnosis was just a pure clerical error or something, in which case you could simply ask them to correct your medical records). They will not usually remove a diagnosis from your medical record at request; at most they would amend it to state that you disagree with the diagnosis.

To get reassessed via the NHS you would make a GP appointment and explain to your doctor that you think you may have been misdiagnosed and that you would like a referral to be reassessed by an autism service (e.g. the Leeds Autism Diagnostic Service).

The autism services tend to be overstretched and have a long wait list. Therefore they may be somewhat hesitant to refer you when you already have a diagnosis. If that is the case I would recommend telling your GP (as well as the autism service) that the main reason you want the reassessment is that you are applying to join the military and that you would prefer clarity on your diagnosis before you proceed with your application. That may persuade them. Alternatively they may just suggest that you simply try proceeding with your military application and leave it to the army's medical assessments to work out.

If the reassessment says you don't have Asperger's/ASD, they can amend your medical records to reflect the outcome of the reassessment and clarify that they think you were either incorrectly diagnosed previously or simply that you no longer meet the criteria to diagnose ASD. 

If the reassessment says you do have Asperger's/ASD, there are a couple of things they may still be able to do to help you. Firstly they may be able to write a letter clarifying that your diagnosis should not affect your capacity to serve (I'm not sure how much it will help as the military medical folk might have their own ideas, but it's worth a shot). Secondly they may be able to help you deal with the embarrassment and stigma.

However it turns out I wish you the best with it.