Autistic Presentation

Hi everyone, 

Is there ever a time that anyone ever feels more autistic than normal? I guess a better way to phrase this is, is there ever a time when its harder to hide your autism? Like when you're tired or stressed or experiencing other high emotions. Such as attending a funeral while extremely sleep deprived which was exactly what happened today. Well, I guess all week I've felt that I've been acting "way more autistic" than usual. For instance, more stimming, more sensory sensitivity, social tolerance, worsened executive dysfunction, etc. Does anyone else get that? Just curious. 

Or it could be totally unrelated to autism. 

  • I would tend to agree with a lot of what other posters in this thread have said - that anxiety and stress, often caused by a sudden change in circumstances, affects my ability to mask. During these times, I won't interact with people as much. I also try to put more time into things that I enjoy doing.

    - Sp.Oc.

  • I can relate to what you say about work.

    I think people only have so much short term brain capacity. I think because we process things differently (eg social interactions processed more by cognition than intuition) this also takes up brain power. Feeling tired adds to this.

  • Hi Mearcstapa, you're referring to the spoon theory.  For some reason the main site which describes the theory is not available at the moment but I've found this:

    www.thebraincharity.org.uk/.../

  • I've found going back to busy places much harder since COVID.

  • Since my Dad died my autism has been more noticeable. I found the Wake hard. It was good to see relatives but the social thing of it was very difficult. Then other things in my life added to that so when the first lockdown started I was off work with stress. I had some support with CBT, although that was stressful too, but my stress reduced because I could go for walks when it was much quieter. 

    As things opened up I found it more stressful, especially now that people have the choice re their behavior. I have recently had to go to appointments and tried going back to a place with more people. I have found this very difficult and even more stressed than usual. I have had several weeks where I can't catch up on my sleep, often waking early, even though I am tired. I have also found work, even from home harder. When I am tired my brain reaches a stage where I can look at problems at work and can't work things out I could on other days. I definitely find things much harder when I am tired and more tempted to not face things at all.

    All the recent stress and now the war as well has definitely made me more obviously autistic, as well as lack of sleep.

  • I find any kind of stress makes masking and coping strategies much harder.  Particularly bad for me are feeling hungry, anxious, lonely or tired (HALT).  I would think that, if you were exhausted, and had the stress and emotions of attending a funeral for someone you cared about, that would make it very difficult to cope and mask in a very social situation (which is what a funeral is).

  • Yeah, I remember wondering about this exact question a couple of months ago when everything just seemed to be piling up on top of me and I was not managing things that I usually do. I wasn't sure if it was autism-related or as you say something else, but I definitely found that things that seem "classic autism traits" became more pronounced for me during that time. For example, I was very specifically laying out my food on my plate so that it didn't touch, which I did a lot as a child but have learned to not rely on so much as it became something that stopped me enjoying meals with friends.

    I've heard a theory of autism about having enough spoons to do things (it's not specifically about spoons, I think they just use spoons as an analogy for something that you can have a certain number of and when they're gone they're gone). So I wonder if for me, something like eating with my food touching uses up 3 spoons of thinking about what might be in my mouth, what texture it's going to be, etc., whereas eating with my food all separate only uses up 1 spoon. So perhaps when we're tired or stressed or experiencing other high emotions, those things are using up some of our spoons, and so as a defense mechanism we have to resort to the behaviours that prioritise using less spoons (stimming to replace spoons, steering clear of things that might lead to sensory overload and require more spoons to come back from, etc.). I find thinking about it like that kind of helpful. Hope I said it in a way that makes sense to others too.

    Also, I'm sorry for your loss with whatever funeral you were attending. I think while you are more tired, stressed and highly emotional, remember to try to give yourself some kindness and try not to get annoyed if you feel unable to cope in all the same ways that you usually can.

    All the best,

  • Is there ever a time that anyone ever feels more autistic than normal? I guess a better way to phrase this is, is there ever a time when its harder to hide your autism? Like when you're tired or stressed or experiencing other high emotions.

    This. Tiredness and stress - particularly when allied to lack of sleep.

  • I think if you usually make an effort to mask and you’re tired that you might not have as much energy to do it so you appear more autistic because your brain/body is just doing what it naturally wants. But also with regards to executive functioning who wants to get up and do stuff when sleep deprived I have days where I just sit in front of the TV when my daughter is at school because I’m exhausted but some days I can clean the house or run several errands. If you usually have to really fight to get things done in the first place it will only get worse when tired. Maybe NT people can still do stuff when they’re tired but they’ll just moan about it? I’m not actually sure, I live in an ND household