Published on 12, July, 2020
I came up with sth to help them imagine it:
Try to imagine being dropped from helicopter into a sea during storm, blindfolded, without knowing the height. Then you hit the water, and while being shocked from not fully anticipated contact, your first thought is ‘’I can’t swim’’. Nonetheless, you start fighting for your life, throwing your arms around without skill, yet staying on top somehow. Then, you think, you can hear a familiar voice shouting ‘’Swim, you have to’’.
Hit the water is the moment when you turn 18, and realise the enormity of the task ahead.
Blindfold represents inability to read people correctly.
‘’Swim, you have to’’ is ‘’Act normal’’, something I was told as a child more often than anything else.
I've accepted my condition recently. Although my neighbours (elderly) and relatives "nudged" me a year ago, I had difficulty getting it.
I lost two jobs since Jan this year(never happened before), and the situation is demanding my attention. I'm sure I've Asperger's. Surprisingly until 33, I assumed it to be confidence or anxiety issues. Those were symptoms, not root causes
Your analogy makes so much sense. All these years,s I was told to act normal,l and I followed the rules religiously. It worked, but I lost myself in that process. So, I'm starting again like I would have started from 18 (in your analogy). I envy people who learned earlier in life and would be well equipped to get the basics going.
I don't want to swim. Instead, I'll stay myself, which will lead me to a better place than where I was. I'm sure I'll be happier being myself than becoming some who I'm not, either I'm not looking to be.
I can't swim as well, that is why I thought of it as horrifying to do it during storm on open sea, and apparently many NTs as well
I've worked on reception, on advice lines, constantly answering the phone, in classrooms dealing with children, in libraries at the desk... many, many jobs in customer facing roles. My health was horrendous during those times though.
I couldn't do any of them now though! I'm either getting more autistic as I get older or less tolerant.
None of us should work in customer service unless it's Tech Support or a Genius Bar where we're allowed a little eccentricity. Humans are accustomed to NT transmissions not autistic ones. We aren't on the same wave frequency.
I work alone at home now, which is lonely but more restful than dealing with weird atmospheres and office politics.
As I became a stay at home mum, it even happened with the playground mummies though. When my daughter went to nursery and school, I tried to be pleasant and friendly to the other mums. Yet again, I must have said or done the wrong thing and ended up being stared at and ostracised. The fact that it was a mostly female group made it worse. I must have overstepped some boundary of theirs? I don't know.
I find men much easier to deal with because they just take things at face value, they aren't looking for hidden meanings and don't take offence at the tiniest comment or expression. I find I only have to make the wrong expression and women get offended. I'm not making any expression, I'm usually just thinking about something else and my face just happens to look a certain way ♀️
exactly like that, probably for everyone of us, though I am developing my Own way, which I am imposing on all co-workers so they don't do their weirdness :p
The autistic professional does not have a hidden agenda (may get angry in the moment but will never hold a grudge or follow a plot to “get ahead”)
The autistic professional is not interested in exerting power over other people (but will tend to use direct language which can be interpreted as authoritarian)
These are so true, Mariusz! I think these apply to autistic people in general.
I do not have a hidden agenda, I get angry but don't do those other things. I am not interested in exerting power, I'm just doing my best.
All these behaviours are misunderstood, aren't they? I've noticed that many, many times in a job, I start out okay, then do some mysterious thing that my colleagues don't like (I've no idea what it is). They challenge me by being difficult, I don't understand and just stare at them in confusion. They subside in confusion. Then everyone avoids me. It's like they were expecting me to do something else, but I don't know what, so I just continue with my work.
I am constantly being challenged by people in jobs and life, but I don't know why. People seem to be intimidated by me, but I don't know why. I just spend my life being confused. It's so tiring and lonely.
so true, except what can we do about it? Standing up? coming out of the shadow? that terrifies me. I'm avoiding confrontations if it is up to me, I would even admit it's my fault if it meant ending it
Iliked that part most:
The key differences between an autistic professional and a professional bully:
I will save it for further reference, I was accused few times by a customer, that I am arrogant, rude, patronising, next time I will give that to read.
This is one of my favourites: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ
I'd love to hear your thoughts as well!
Look forward to it.
I have entirely crazy theory about origins of autistics, I am going to write about it soon :P
What a brilliant idea! An autistic community living together! We could ask for help with things we can't manage, but mainly just work it out ourselves.
I have been wondering if we're just a different species. Are we homo sapien (something else)? We're so different to the others. Apparently Neanderthals functioned totally differently to Homo Sapiens, they were logical and sensible whereas Homo Sapiens were risk takers and erratic. Maybe we're just a different type of human.
I read a sci-fi book as a kid, Beggars in Spain, whre Sleepless (like atypical now) were not tolerated and created own enclave and what happened after, try it
en.wikipedia.org/.../Beggars_in_Spain
Why can't we (atypical) all work together instead of working with people who don't appreciate us?
If great people like this community surrounded us, life would be much simpler, and we all get on with our me times after work, without stress and sleepless nights. Over analyzing, how to get through next day. Sometimes, I don't feel like getting up because I'm too drained to put a face for normal world.
I wonder how Einstien managed his bills