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School

NAS75090

My son (6) really struggles going into school and will be extremely disruptive - hitting, kicking and screaming. He is well behaved once settled. I am having trouble getting him to understand his actions, he is always so honest about things that have happened but in these circumstances he says he “didn’t do anything” “didn’t touch them” etc - he really seems to not be connected to his actions but I don’t know how to get school to understand this. They see it as a behavioural issue and that he is able to just click out of it. 

  • in reply to LongSpoons

    We really do need to find a way to manage it, I agree. 

    How did they manage the case you are linking it to? 

  • Has he seen an educational psychologist, or been assessed for EHCP?

    It sounds like the school need some professional help working out what’s going on.

    I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I may have seen something similar in the past and it doesn’t really matter what is the cause, what is important is figuring out how to manage it.

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    With me too whilst leaving the house to take him to school. 

  • Is it possible to spend a little time with him after school when everyone has gone home? Being at the "scene of the crime" can help trigger a little more information. You can see if the lights are buzzing or if the walls are overwhelming, perhaps arrange a walk through with just him to show you things. But suggest it will be him giving you a tour, maybe?

    Can you chat with the head and maybe have a sit-down then after? He may need a safe human to escape to and this may be something valuable for him to learn: walking to the head office instead of feeling left to Fix the problem on his own. Perhaps he notices rules being broken or too many things out of order and he just needs a quiet space to focus on the task he's currently doing. 

    It may be the head will only be able to tell him "everyone is a little different and some people enjoy chaos, but you can sit here and read if it helps you focus". Either way, this would create a solution for this age until he is able to communicate better.

  • in reply to NAS75090

    So is he just anxious in the mornings, and then at school he is behaving badly by hitting, kicking, and screaming? Or is he hitting, kicking, and screaming with you in the mornings too?

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    I think that is one of the things that is proving to be quite difficult as he can’t seem to tell me what it is - I think he is really anxious but doesn’t know why. It’s really hard not knowing the reason - makes it harder to help. He loves rules so sticks to them  most of the time but the school mornings just send him crazy. 

  • Maybe just ask your son what he has trouble with while at school, what he doesn't like, and what kind of things happened to him, which makes the child feel understood. Sometimes a child's form of communication is to act out what they're feeling, because they might think that words don't help them, but acting out will. So maybe try to get him to talk about what upsets him, and then empathize with his perspective, and see if that helps.