Undercover Specialist!

Police or spy’s that go undercover are trained, have a handler and receive regular psychiatric support. I believe the role is restricted to a certain amount of time before moving to a different role. 

Meanwhile, undiagnosed autistics play a role that they are not all their lives. Experts at camouflage or masking. No handler, support or time limit. 

it’s hardly surprising that the fragility of living a lie finally causes major cognitive disruption at some point or other. The raw emotions, feelings coupled with being an ‘outsider’ has to erupt at some point. And boy, 8 years ago a major shutdown kicked in. My partner has never been the same towards me since. I can’t blame her really. Having a cabbage around for six months wasn’t in the contract! But I came out of it more resilient and focused, or so I thought. 

Now it’s a case of controlled acting.

I’m the relatively successful guy, full of witty repartee and boundless enthusiasm. “He’s a bit odd but does good work”People rely on me. 

The reality is, my exhaustion and sadness has developed into a chronic physical pain. Over sensitive, insomnia and lonely. My mind seems to be wading through mud and clumsiness is a daily occurrence. I dream of embracing oblivion. 

I don’t want to be undercover anymore.

But, I’m the relatively successful guy, full of witty repartee and boundless enthusiasm. “He’s a bit odd but does good work”People rely on me. 

And i’m so fucking tired. But it has to remain undercover. My family rely on me. So “chin up and best foot forward” I can hear people kindly say should they see beneath the mask. 

So be it. If people stopped and looked, they’d see me cast a long shadow in my eyes, just above my rictus smile. 




  • I always wanted to be a Husband and Dad. However, the women I wanted were out of my league. The show Undateable could easily describe me.

    Porn is actually counterproductive, as it destroys libido. It did for me.

  • I'm sorry to hear that. What happened? Did you stay together?

    I used to get depressed, Moon, about always being single, thinking I was missing out on the tenderness, laughter and solidarity of being in a couple. But, now, I know I was being spared from a lot of heartache. I would never have coped with one. Now that I have had the good fortune of spending time each week with an autism specialist and talking through things with her, I understand my needs better, and I think it might be possible to get together with someone in the future and make up for lost time. Because, this time round, I won't have to pretend anymore. And when things get too much, I'll know what to do to feel better.

  • My marriage worked well as my wife was always out and about - I had plenty of time to myself - so I had plenty of spoons to sparkle when we were together.

    As our circumstances changed for the worse, we were both home more and more, the sparkles faded.

  • I wrote this as a response to another thread, but I think it's perfect for this one too.

    My whole life, up until recently, has been about trying to avoid negative attention or attract positive attention.  I tried to suppress the behaviours that I thought attracted negative attention, and exaggerate the behaviours that I thought attracted positive attention. Needless to say, it rarely worked and was hard to sustain. It always felt like trying to hold in a sneeze or control a yawn.  A constant performance. Studying my movements, gestures and reactions, and then comparing them to those of others. I was constantly getting comments about 
    not being normal, or being an oddball, or having the wrong reactions to situations. 

    Mostly though, I was considered a fun guy, who could make people laugh. Slowly, I learned which behaviours generated laughter— and which ones generated anger. It wasn't an easy way to live. I created a comedy character, crying the proverbial 'tears of a clown'.

    This explains why I've never had a relationship, never married and never wanted children. I could never have maintained that level of performance for so long.

  • I really feel where you are coming from.

  • I feel the same but I'm not sure else what to do.