My parents do not understand me. Owing to my OCD, a complication of my AS, I have fears surrounding contamination and some of these fears influence what food I eat. For example, I refuse to eat meat unless it comes in a ready meal, ie it has already been cooked prior to heating, according to factory specifications. This, of course, causes massive conflict at home. My mum cooked fish cakes for tea today, but I refused to eat them because they were cooked from raw ingredients. My OCD thoughts say, 'what if the fish has not been cooked properly?', even though my mum now over cooks meat because of my obsession. I know that these fears are out of control, but I have so many fears to contend with, including extreme health anxiety that causes panic attacks. I feel that these latter fears are the most disabling right now, and because I eat a balanced diet-meat and fish are the only foods I avoid, apart from ready lamb curry-I feel that me avoiding meat is not a big deal. But my parents get VERY angry, almost taking it as a personal insult. It feels like I am being punished for something I cannot control-my obsessive thoughts that make me feel nervous and insecure. I told my parents that I would be perfectly happy as a vegetarian and that they can continue eating meat and fish, so what is the big deal? But they still refuse to accept this. If I lived alone I could control what I eat and my life would be far less stressful. I am on the local housing list, but I see no sign that I will be moving out in the near future, the housing situation being so dire
