• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 31 subscribers
  • Views 856 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Advice on child upset with dropping off home

NAS74157

Hi, I'm a bit at my Witts end and not sure who to turn to. Friends I don't want to disturb and all that. Myself and my ex have been split for around 4 months. She will not communicate with me in any way so we instructed solicitors. I've begged for her to just discuss things but she won't respond. I left her for several reasons but I know she's feeling pain with the split. At the moment I pickup my Autistic daughter who 5 every Friday drop her off on a Sunday eve. She's been getting more and more upset until tonight when she point blank refused to even get out of the car. I had to really wrestle to get her out after 20 min of trying to reason. She was fighting me up the drive and then in hysterics when my ex mother come out to greet her (my ex won't even come to the door). Now I haven't cried in 20 years but tonight just broke me. I told my ex I was taking her back to mine but then it kicked off and I didn't want my daughter to see any of that.  I hugged her for 30 minutes on the driveway the whole time she was saying daddy car and daddy house telling the others to go away. What am I causing that child to go through? I feel like I'm emotionally scarring her each time and it just kills me. I honestly don't know what to do. I really feel like not seeing my beautiful daughter at all is the only way I can stop her from being in weekly pain but then I'll cause more pain. I just don't want her to be upset in any way. Is there anyone who may have gone through similar and can give me some advice? Thank you

  • in reply to NAS74157

    Are you saying the child does not want to leave you each time ? 

  • Thank you for the reply and listening. 

    I don't feel my ex would cause her harm in anyway but emotionally I just don't know. My ex is already a little messed up and still hasn't come to deal with it yet. I'm definately going to start looking for a therapist, that's a very good idea thank you. As she's delayed speech im not sure what way they will communicate with her though. 

  • Do you still have a solicitor? It sounds like you need to document every single time this happens, what and how long and ask for legal advice. For whatever reason, she may feel safer with you.

    You could also hire a therapist who works with autistic children (bonus if they're also autistic) to help your daughter express what is happening that is making her feel as though she dosn't want to be around the other parent. 

    If you feel she is unsafe for whatever reason, you could take further action and find child support services, but I might see if the solicitor could help more immediately.