Autistic Adult or Adult with Autism? Why?

Some people will say they wear an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini; others will say they wear a bikini with itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dots. It's all a matter of how individuals perceive themselves in relation to each other and their environment.

Grammatically, in English, the proximity of adjectives to the noun (or noun phrase) they qualify is usually attributive, in other words it comes before the noun.

A black dog.

Semantically, an adjective in an attributive position such as a black dog gives equal emphasis both the blackness of the dog and to the dog-ness of the dog. Its colour is an integral part of its being, and distinguishes it from other dogs that are not black. However, if you displace the adjective with a preposition: a dog with a black colouring, you are assigning secondary importance to the colour of the dog. 

Some people see themselves as equally autistic and equally people. An autistic person. In other words, their autism is an integral part of who they are. Some see autism as a secondary characteristic and prefer to give more emphasis to their person-ness. A person with autism. Most people don't care one way or another. It should not be serious, and it should not be prescriptive. It's entirely subjective.

Tassimo,

Great post!

I suspect you are an autistic grammarian who could prove useful to know.

(I hope I got that right)

Ben

Yes! Guilty as accused, Ben! I'm a former linguist by profession. Though it's only ever useful in debates such as these. 

Edgar Allan Poe said “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”

Weed turns out very, very badly for me and I don't do it.

Over the years I have had a few friends who simply 'sleep in my bed', and I really did manage to rationalise that to myself.

I am feeling like I am over ... something ... like, 'my mind is different from yours' and this is what I want... I just needed the guts (and the medical diagnostic backing) to be able to say it - and to hell with the consequences.

I don't know who it was, but someone once aptly said: reality is a crutch for people who don't take drugs.

Apart from prescription medication, I've never taken any other illicit drug. I did smoke some weed years ago and that ended up very badly with me feeling very faint and then passing out.

I haven't touched alcohol for over ten years. I realised that I was trying to go to places I didn't enjoy and be with people that I had nothing in common with, and that was the only reason for getting drunk.  Even a small glass would make me feel ill the next day.  So, I stopped drinking and stopped going to places i didn't like and frequenting people I had nothing in common with. 

I have no problem with being attracted to someone and enjoying the romance of it all. I'm a bit like one of those old hollywood movies where they go off to the bedroom and then the door closes. The end. If it could just stop there. I'd be fine!

The caveats - my caveats - regarding sexuality are thus:
I tell people I'm gay because it's easier.

I hooked in to (and hid from) a closet-gay stereotype in my teens as a method of explaining the classicly autistic 'yawning behavioral gap' between me and my peers in mainstream education. Having navigated the internalised and external stigma of being gay, there was still 'something wrong with me' which I couldn't ever explain, get a handle on or medicate / diagnose / drug / drink my way out of. It turns out that the thing is autism.

With regard to intimacy: it's a struggle. The cacophony of trying to resolve my inner dissonances (hypo/hyper physical sensation, empathy, selfishness, ego etc); the side effects of the litany of prescribed psychotropic therapeutic / self-prescribed noootrpoic / functional recreational drugs required to get me in to a position where intimacy is the appropriate thing to do precludes any satisfactory outcome much of the time...

I find both sexes appealing physically but am overwhelmed with the 'falling in love with people' and 'falling in love with a mind' effect.

Reductively, I feel that my Self is definitely one of the completely unknowable things, hence I cannot love it and hence what temerity is it to tell someone else that I love them?

Thank you, JJ. In another life, I worked as a language teacher. It's a long time ago now, but I've always kept abreast with developments in linguistics out of pure curiosity. What do you mean by all the caveats? Is that in relation to your sexuality?

I'm very confused about mine since my diagnosis. It sounds odd, but I've always felt detached from mainstream ideas of sexuality. I know I'm not heterosexual because I've never felt comfortable in heterosexual circles, but in the same token, I've never felt comfortable in homosexual circles either. I know I find some male faces and bodies more (sexually) attractive than all female faces and bodies. But, I'm really uncomfortable participating in sexual activity.  I'm pretty sure this is something to do with autism. I love the idea of romance and closeness, but am filled with anxiety and dread by the thought of the physical act of sex.

Hi Tassimo.

I am fascinated by linguistics, 41 and gay (with all the caveats) and only just diagnosed as Autistic.

I too think you are someone I would like to know.

Hi Tassimo.

I am fascinated by linguistics, 41 and gay (with all the caveats) and only just diagnosed as Autistic.

I too think you are someone I would like to know.

Edgar Allan Poe said “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”

Weed turns out very, very badly for me and I don't do it.

Over the years I have had a few friends who simply 'sleep in my bed', and I really did manage to rationalise that to myself.

I am feeling like I am over ... something ... like, 'my mind is different from yours' and this is what I want... I just needed the guts (and the medical diagnostic backing) to be able to say it - and to hell with the consequences.

I don't know who it was, but someone once aptly said: reality is a crutch for people who don't take drugs.

Apart from prescription medication, I've never taken any other illicit drug. I did smoke some weed years ago and that ended up very badly with me feeling very faint and then passing out.

I haven't touched alcohol for over ten years. I realised that I was trying to go to places I didn't enjoy and be with people that I had nothing in common with, and that was the only reason for getting drunk.  Even a small glass would make me feel ill the next day.  So, I stopped drinking and stopped going to places i didn't like and frequenting people I had nothing in common with. 

I have no problem with being attracted to someone and enjoying the romance of it all. I'm a bit like one of those old hollywood movies where they go off to the bedroom and then the door closes. The end. If it could just stop there. I'd be fine!

The caveats - my caveats - regarding sexuality are thus:
I tell people I'm gay because it's easier.

I hooked in to (and hid from) a closet-gay stereotype in my teens as a method of explaining the classicly autistic 'yawning behavioral gap' between me and my peers in mainstream education. Having navigated the internalised and external stigma of being gay, there was still 'something wrong with me' which I couldn't ever explain, get a handle on or medicate / diagnose / drug / drink my way out of. It turns out that the thing is autism.

With regard to intimacy: it's a struggle. The cacophony of trying to resolve my inner dissonances (hypo/hyper physical sensation, empathy, selfishness, ego etc); the side effects of the litany of prescribed psychotropic therapeutic / self-prescribed noootrpoic / functional recreational drugs required to get me in to a position where intimacy is the appropriate thing to do precludes any satisfactory outcome much of the time...

I find both sexes appealing physically but am overwhelmed with the 'falling in love with people' and 'falling in love with a mind' effect.

Reductively, I feel that my Self is definitely one of the completely unknowable things, hence I cannot love it and hence what temerity is it to tell someone else that I love them?

Thank you, JJ. In another life, I worked as a language teacher. It's a long time ago now, but I've always kept abreast with developments in linguistics out of pure curiosity. What do you mean by all the caveats? Is that in relation to your sexuality?

I'm very confused about mine since my diagnosis. It sounds odd, but I've always felt detached from mainstream ideas of sexuality. I know I'm not heterosexual because I've never felt comfortable in heterosexual circles, but in the same token, I've never felt comfortable in homosexual circles either. I know I find some male faces and bodies more (sexually) attractive than all female faces and bodies. But, I'm really uncomfortable participating in sexual activity.  I'm pretty sure this is something to do with autism. I love the idea of romance and closeness, but am filled with anxiety and dread by the thought of the physical act of sex.