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Is my daughter autistic?

Sharri2415

Hi, I have 5 children aged between 19 and 4. The eldest has always had problems and only now is undergoing diagnosis, after pushing for Aspergers and ADHD. My youngest daughter is also very different from the others. She is 8 next month, but 2 years behind at school.  I went to the doctors to check for possible SPD, as she has major sensitivity issues. After a year I was told that they thought it was Dyslexia??? Although she has quite a few social issues. Recently at school she was in the toilet and someone got pushed against the door, which made it open. Ever since she refuses to drink at schol so she doesn't need to use the toilet. She even freaks at home, asking if her older sister and friend are in, incase they walk in on her. She doesn't like lots of people and is mature with her speech. What do I do if I don't agree with professionals because she doesn't tick all the boxes????

  • HiScorpion0x17

    I totally agree with your answer....I do accept and love her more than I have loved anyone, but the fact is her life is  miserable, she really is afraid of everything and it's holding her back from a happy full life.  I have several children that have passed the teen years ....and I know that my daughters ways are not 'normal teen behavior.  It's not that I want a label for her...all I want is to know a way forward and some help, it's not that you put it want I want, it's what she needs.  I am afraid of what her life holds for her at the moment.....I am not a selfish, unloving mum far from it....her needs have taken over my life.  I JUST THINK SHE DESERVES A DIAGNOSIS AND A BIT OF HELP!!!!!

  • Lana,

    Autism diagnosis is not a box ticking excercise.

    Whilst many of the things you list are characteristics of autistic spectrum conditions, many are also characteristic of other conditions, and some simply of being a teenager!

    And, by the way, the first step in helping your daughter, whatever the cause for her characteristics, is accepting her as she is, and not seeking answers because that's what you want.

  • My 16 yr old daughter was also told no she doesn't tick all the boxes....but her behavior has become worse...I have asked for a re- referral and am awaiting an answer.  If it comes back no this time I am not sure if will be able to cope, as I have pinned her behavior on being Autistic!  

    She obsessively watches same dvd

    Stares at other people 

    Lack hygiene/ wearing same clothes

    Hates noise (even quiet humming or chewing sounds)

    Dislike of change of routine 

    Dislike busy shops

    Socially isolated..no friends

    Hates touch unless she initiates it

    Can't take part in conversation....yes no answers

    Cannot see others point of view..lack of empathy 

    Black and white answers...cannot see some things may be grey

    These are just some of her traits....I feel when I read up on autism/aspergers she totally ticks the boxes!!! I am so desperate and frustrated with things....I NEED them to reassess. At least I can see a way forward then!  
    Sorry for waffling on :)

  • i know how you feel -you get told no then expected to go home and suddenely you lose all the support .i am fighting for a re referrel as i know my child i cant understand how they say no after a few meeting and tests .i was told my son has strong traits but doesnt meet all the boxes !!!!!!  but when you have to cope everyday using ways to help him cope something isnt right .we can go out and he would just want to go home there and then. my son wont eat in school as he hates crowds i just make sure he eats well at home its about working round them isnt  . for you i would go to dr for re referrel  say you want a second opion . the toilet in school is hard to get round hopefully she will feel at ease soon it is hard but your not alone  hope she is doing well and keep fighting til she can for herself xxx

  • Hi, we do have a slide across lock on the door. But thanks anyway

  • Sharri2415 said:
    She even freaks at home, asking if her older sister and friend are in, incase they walk in on her.

    Simple suggestion: Fit a lock on the door - one of those slide across bolts would be ideal, as then, if there is a reason you absolutely must get in to the bathroom when someone has locked the door from the inside, a good hard shove/kick will rip the screws out of the door frame.

  • To find out if your son/daughter has autism/Asperger's syndrome they would needto go for a formal diagnostic assessment. This section provides further informationon getting a diagnosis:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis.aspx

    You may also want to look at our section that provides advice for parents, relatives and carers of people with autism.

    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/parents-relatives-and-carers...

    Best,

    Yousif