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How do you tell if you’ve lost a friend?

WMaLu110

I know i lost one friend recently, though i don't know why. The last conversation we’d had was short but went well. But atleast the ending was clear.

you don’t block a friend lol

but this other neurotypical friend and i were supposed to hangout, i mixed up the date the first time, so we meant to reschedule. Told me they had spring break coming up so we chose a new date but it sort of fell through, as we didn’t communicate the day of.....but they messaged me first in the evening of that day and proposed we schedule again. i messaged them again, just letting them know my schedule was clear for every upcoming Friday. I figure this way, I’m not putting pressure on a specific date so if they doesn’t  want to hangout anymore they can just let the conversation fade into obscurity. Then i waited and they messaged me again, with a post saying they appreciate my efforts to reach out and that with school it was difficult to work out but that they still want to figure out their schedule to hang out.

i dont mind waiting if this is true, i definitely can relate to the stress of university. But im just afraid maybe they’re just being polite, and I'm misunderstanding and getting my hopes up for someone who is trying to distance themselves.

I wish neurotypical people could just say “ i don't enjoy your company anymore, let’s both grow independently from now on”, instead of being so evasive and subtle. Because then you really have no clue, and if i judge wrong and think they are trying to distance themself when they’re not, then I’m the one wholooks needy, friendless and impatient lol. I’m just confused

Parents

  • Some people are lazy, they just don't want to make the effort. Others have overbooked schedules. Relationships are work!

    I have 3 really good friends and it took me years to build them. We have similar values and similar personality types. Over the years I've realised the people who I enjoy the most tend to be engineers or bakers, involved in science + creative industries or 'renaissance women' / jack of all trades - the types who enjoy learning, who have a genuine curiosity and wonder at the world around. We inspire each other. My female friends, a bit more introverted & the males (one close, many better than acquaintances) all seem to have ADHD... quite interesting. 

    I learned if someone doesn't want to make an effort in the relationship, it's ALWAYS a good thing to let them be. Create balance if you can, with the world around. They may be much more aware of the stark differences or not someone worth my valuable time in the long-term.  The individuals I tried to keep in my life who caused a great deal of stress, a few who in the end, actually ghosted me, I now consider a matter of learned experience. They were competitive, demanding, selfish and didn't value my friendship in a mutual way.

    It's hard not knowing!! Not having telepathy or omniscience or clairvoyance! Oh to have real super powers. But worthwhile, equal-balanced friendship, humans who want to get to know me and find my eccentricities remarkably interesting, who share my values - these are well worth being bothered by. Allow for the time, though. The right timing is another element at play. Sometimes it takes a few years to develop. 

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  • Some people are lazy, they just don't want to make the effort. Others have overbooked schedules. Relationships are work!

    I have 3 really good friends and it took me years to build them. We have similar values and similar personality types. Over the years I've realised the people who I enjoy the most tend to be engineers or bakers, involved in science + creative industries or 'renaissance women' / jack of all trades - the types who enjoy learning, who have a genuine curiosity and wonder at the world around. We inspire each other. My female friends, a bit more introverted & the males (one close, many better than acquaintances) all seem to have ADHD... quite interesting. 

    I learned if someone doesn't want to make an effort in the relationship, it's ALWAYS a good thing to let them be. Create balance if you can, with the world around. They may be much more aware of the stark differences or not someone worth my valuable time in the long-term.  The individuals I tried to keep in my life who caused a great deal of stress, a few who in the end, actually ghosted me, I now consider a matter of learned experience. They were competitive, demanding, selfish and didn't value my friendship in a mutual way.

    It's hard not knowing!! Not having telepathy or omniscience or clairvoyance! Oh to have real super powers. But worthwhile, equal-balanced friendship, humans who want to get to know me and find my eccentricities remarkably interesting, who share my values - these are well worth being bothered by. Allow for the time, though. The right timing is another element at play. Sometimes it takes a few years to develop. 

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