Published on 12, July, 2020
I was unlocking my bike yesterday and a guy said "I was gonna take that". I knew he was trying to be funny, but there was something in his tone that grew me off. It sounded too boisterous for me. I'm just sensitive to it, especially from people I don't know.
I’m the same, the amount of times someone has said they were only joking even tho I knew they weren’t serious but I’ve seem to them to have taking it seriously
That would probably have been me. my response would probably have been "Do I know you? No, well you will refer to me as Mr X. Only friends call me by my first name." TBH I tend to be the guy who flips, I dont like talking to random strangers on phones. I get overly angry very quickly and then hit snap point and it ensues from there.In real life situations like supermarkets I have no problem keeping a low profile or being sociable if I want to. I used to work in one so I guess it comes easily due to that expeience.
I definitely think so. People don’t want to feel hurt or confused or shamed, especially not alone. So they either get aggressive in a way to pull you down with them, or to pull themselves up by pushing you down instead. A mix of ego and as you said: an inability to resolve their emotions internally
Sometimes I feel suspicious of the people on the supermarket checkout if they're being overly friendly like they know me. I know it's their job to be like that and some are more friendly than others. But it does throw me and make me feel like I don't know something I should.
I also hate this becasue I am often non-verbal with strangers and I have sometimes heard them talking about how rude I was as they walk away because I was unable to respond.
" Are you ok or how are you doing" It's like they can see inside my head , Then i think "i would like to be able to do that" or sometimes[very rarely] i just tell them not really and blurt out my latest worry/panic ,and they have a strange look on there face and say something and leave.
generally if they talk to me it is difficult
I know it’s not a “stranger”, but it used to pee me off when my boss would make the effort to come to my office to say “have you got time for a chat” (instant anxiety) Obviously I would say yes, only for him to reply, “ok good I’ll give you a shout tomorrow and we can catch up”. Followed my no sleep, borderline panic attack. It would then turn out he literally wanted a chat, about nothing!!
I've never understood why people feel a need to make random abusive comments to strangers. Provocation? Power? A sense of getting away with it? A need to exert control, even if it's randomly shouted words. because the world can be a big and scary place and there's a need to feel in control of a small bit of it.
Even if I was given an explanation I doubt if I'd understand it (unless there were some MH issues going on)
https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/irrationally-irate-why-do-people-abuse-strangers-about-things-that-dont-matter-20170807-gxr608.html
Maybe it's them unable to handle their own internal emotional junk and their way to resolve it is to dump all that tension on someone else ?
I understand how this makes you feel as I get similar comments every time I venture out. As a cyclist, I often get strangers shouting at me and expecting a reaction from me that I simply do not know what to do other than smile and carry on.
Yeah, I don’t think thats normal, i woulda done anything to get away from the guy who admits to wanting to steal my stuff asap
also, i hate when people shout out their car windows at me. sometimes its of course inappropriate as expected and you just hear “whore” whiz by you lol, but a surprising amount of the time its not inappropriate either and just strange...idk why so many people like to shout out their car window at others. Like im just walking to the 7-11, whats all this energy for?
It's etiquette. In law enforcement, they'll use your last, unless there's another party with the same last name.
That's what I was going to say! It's crazy how much one word can increase anxiety.
That's interesting. In the UK cashiers won't use your name, because really they just want you to get out
I did work in a call centre for a while and when we called customers by their first name. I only ever had one customer get angry with me for it.
Yes, I'm sure this is code for "hurry up!"
Panic.
Can't say hello or hi because that would be repetitive.
Hi.
"Take your Time!"
That puts me under even more pressure.
In the States it’s exhausting. If you’re checking out the attendant will look at your credit card and call you by your first name. In fact, you have to request that companies -phone, bank, etc. Call you by your last. They all are required to spend obnoxious amounts of time asking how you are. It’s too much. It used to really feel violating. I remember deciding I would try to stay calm and request to deal with the issue at hand. In general 99% of customer service there is really invasive.
Hello.
Maybe funny to a friend but that's a really weird thing to say to a stranger. I can think of folk where that'd be a precursor to a "stand-off" and then a fight.